And going directly against Weasel's Blaugh Ordinance No.228, I am writing a post in its honor.
I love the military. I love what they're doing to keep our homelands safe. Yes, I'm not just paying attention to the American military, but also every other military that has done their part to keep their country safe.
To those who died in the line of duty: The Blaugh salutes you. And to those who are still alive and still fighting for your respective causes: keep at 'em, I'll be supporting you from back here.
I don't hate the military. I just hate the idiots in the government who give them orders.
May 31, 2010
Morbid Curiosity: Prime Target, Part 2
To show you all that no, I'm not crazy, and Laz Rojas didn't make Operation Eisenmann entirely by himself, here are some comparison screenshots (which you'll have to click through for, since I'm too lazy to make thumbnails).
First we have the opening. Here it is in Prime Target, with marble as far as the eye can see, and a rather nice looking fountain up front surrounded by American flags and potted plants. This is it as it appears in Operation Eisenmann. Owing mainly to the upscaling of the entire level, it seems much more empty, though we still have the majestic fountain surrounded by Nazi flags and eagle statues. There is a Pain Elemental at the top of the fountain because I've forgotten to load Eisenmann's DeHackEd patch.
Veering off to the right from the entrance we have this balcony which overlooks a hearing room of some type, with a potted plant in the corner. Mr. Rojas interprets the room thusly, with the hearing room being slightly more brown and less like a hearing room, but the distinctive glass barrier and potted plant remain.
Elsewhere in the map we have an elevator corridor with a swimming pool in the distance (I guess US Senators have to swim sometime, right?). In this picture I am discharging my Beretta pistol for no good reason. And here is the same corridor again from the perspective of everyone's favorite Allied covert operative. This time I am firing my pistol (which may or may not also be a Beretta!) at an Arch-Vile who appeared over the pool, likely for the same reason the Pain Elemental appeared over the fountain. (See also: this alternate view of the pool and the same alternate view from BJ's eyes. No, I didn't kill the Arch-Vile with my pistol, I used the console.)
And finally, an overhead view of the south-eastern portion of the level with the names of the employees hovering over it as mentioned in the actual review, and the same general location in ZDoom. Hopefully that's proven that I'm not crazy. For further screenshots (but no further comparisons), have a look at this Majhost gallery.
I'm not quite finished yet, though: my previous post on the subject, which I posted almost four months back, got a fresh (and anonymous) comment a couple of weeks ago, evidently from a very upset Macintosh user:
To which I replied:
So let's consider this a formal calling-out. I'm curious to see what said anonymous comment-writer's reaction is to this, as he/she hasn't replied to my rebuttal yet. I'd greatly enjoy hearing specifically why Prime Target should be considered better than Doom, considering Prime Target has no official map or physics editor, pretty horrible FMV acting, and virtually no active player base, unless this is really all the Macintosh community has to play anymore.
First we have the opening. Here it is in Prime Target, with marble as far as the eye can see, and a rather nice looking fountain up front surrounded by American flags and potted plants. This is it as it appears in Operation Eisenmann. Owing mainly to the upscaling of the entire level, it seems much more empty, though we still have the majestic fountain surrounded by Nazi flags and eagle statues. There is a Pain Elemental at the top of the fountain because I've forgotten to load Eisenmann's DeHackEd patch.
Veering off to the right from the entrance we have this balcony which overlooks a hearing room of some type, with a potted plant in the corner. Mr. Rojas interprets the room thusly, with the hearing room being slightly more brown and less like a hearing room, but the distinctive glass barrier and potted plant remain.
Elsewhere in the map we have an elevator corridor with a swimming pool in the distance (I guess US Senators have to swim sometime, right?). In this picture I am discharging my Beretta pistol for no good reason. And here is the same corridor again from the perspective of everyone's favorite Allied covert operative. This time I am firing my pistol (which may or may not also be a Beretta!) at an Arch-Vile who appeared over the pool, likely for the same reason the Pain Elemental appeared over the fountain. (See also: this alternate view of the pool and the same alternate view from BJ's eyes. No, I didn't kill the Arch-Vile with my pistol, I used the console.)
And finally, an overhead view of the south-eastern portion of the level with the names of the employees hovering over it as mentioned in the actual review, and the same general location in ZDoom. Hopefully that's proven that I'm not crazy. For further screenshots (but no further comparisons), have a look at this Majhost gallery.
I'm not quite finished yet, though: my previous post on the subject, which I posted almost four months back, got a fresh (and anonymous) comment a couple of weeks ago, evidently from a very upset Macintosh user:
Fuck you! Finally someone plays Prime Target and his dumb liberal ass goes out of his way to mock the "senseless patriotism". This game is miles ahead of Doom in every respect! Shove your review and your site right where your head is, up your own ass. Thanks! :)
To which I replied:
Finally someone comments on my review of Prime Target and his dumb takes-things-too-seriously ass goes out of his way to mock the fact that I said "senseless patriotism". This game is miles behind Deus Ex in every respect!
See, I can do it too!
So let's consider this a formal calling-out. I'm curious to see what said anonymous comment-writer's reaction is to this, as he/she hasn't replied to my rebuttal yet. I'd greatly enjoy hearing specifically why Prime Target should be considered better than Doom, considering Prime Target has no official map or physics editor, pretty horrible FMV acting, and virtually no active player base, unless this is really all the Macintosh community has to play anymore.
Can any classical music aficionado...
...identify this song for me, please? It came from an old DOS puzzle game called TextTris, and evidently all of their music came from some BBS's Creative Music Format (CMF) archives - there is no embedded metadata and the filename tells me nothing. I recall the song also being played in the movie Tombstone, but that doesn't help me much either...
[edit] Apparently it's Danse Macabre, as heard here:
[edit] Apparently it's Danse Macabre, as heard here:
May 29, 2010
Good Feature, Bad Feature
Inspired by the old Goofus & Gallant features in Highlights Magazine and a rather frustrating attempt at playing Daggerfall...how not to design a tutorial for your game.
The first and most important thing to consider is whether the tutorial should be skippable or not. I see a lot of games these days use the tutorial segment as a prime opportunity for exposition, but this means that people who already know how to play the game (i.e. have been reading the manual, played the demo, or jumped into multiplayer first) will skip the tutorial and miss what may end up being crucial plot information. But on the other hand, if the tutorial can't be skipped, players who have completed the game before and want to start a new game will be forced to sit through it again.
Interactivity is key for a tutorial. Many people prefer to learn by doing, not by watching (or in worse cases, listening or reading). Daggerfall comes into play here - the tutorial presents you with a wall of text, much of it consisting of the menu combinations you'll need to use to get at your inventory. Then it says "I'll be back again in a few minutes." That's not good tutorial design. While you're teaching the player things, he's not going to remember everything you said in the wall of text, especially not if you have no way of bringing it up again. By the time the tutorial pops up again, the player may have goofed around enough to be several steps ahead, making the tutorial even less helpful. Daggerfall was not the last game to do this - 2000's Fallout Tactics does a similar thing, but at least voice-acts the wall of text so that the player can try to remember what the voice was telling them to do.
Another point to the above: the 1997 strategy game Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines. The game's tutorial consists entirely of non-interactive videos. Given the game's merciless difficulty, I'm sure this didn't help much either. The first mission is near impossible unless you already know exactly what to do.
Another example of a bad tutorial: the "trial by fire." You're eager to get the player to the "good part", but you don't want to throw him into a combat situation without him knowing how to at least take cover and shoot back. Just Cause 2 does this to an extent - the first thing that happens is you are tossed out of a chopper. Then the game teaches you how to maneuver in the air and pull your parachute. It's entirely possible to die here. Then the game teaches you how to use the grappling hook, because you have no weapons. Granted, the parachute and hook are the most important parts of the game, but forcing the player out a flying vehicle might not be the best way to train them at times, since many players' first reflex is "SHIT! I'm falling out of a chopper and I'm going to die!" And they panic. Panic is not beneficial to learning how to play a game.
Lastly there's the "stealth" tutorial. In particular I'm going to mention Soldier of Fortune 2. The very last part of SoF2's tutorial is how to sneak around without being spotted or heard. This is far easier said than done. You almost can't do anything in the mission without Sam chiming in and telling you, "Looks like you've been seen, John. Head back inside the fenced area and start over." Not only is failure a constant thing, it also results in you manually having to navigate back to the fence to reset the course.
Honorable mentions here must also be made for many console to PC conversions, in which the tutorial prompts either refer to the XBox buttons, or worse, refer to "aliased" buttons that you have to bind ahead of time. Countless examples: Final Fantasy VII, Resident Evil 4, Mercenaries 2, Lost Planet, Street Fighter 4.
Everyone raves about how video gaming has gone mainstream. Well, the reason that's not happening faster is because many people are intimidated by the games! This stuff really doesn't help.
The first and most important thing to consider is whether the tutorial should be skippable or not. I see a lot of games these days use the tutorial segment as a prime opportunity for exposition, but this means that people who already know how to play the game (i.e. have been reading the manual, played the demo, or jumped into multiplayer first) will skip the tutorial and miss what may end up being crucial plot information. But on the other hand, if the tutorial can't be skipped, players who have completed the game before and want to start a new game will be forced to sit through it again.
Interactivity is key for a tutorial. Many people prefer to learn by doing, not by watching (or in worse cases, listening or reading). Daggerfall comes into play here - the tutorial presents you with a wall of text, much of it consisting of the menu combinations you'll need to use to get at your inventory. Then it says "I'll be back again in a few minutes." That's not good tutorial design. While you're teaching the player things, he's not going to remember everything you said in the wall of text, especially not if you have no way of bringing it up again. By the time the tutorial pops up again, the player may have goofed around enough to be several steps ahead, making the tutorial even less helpful. Daggerfall was not the last game to do this - 2000's Fallout Tactics does a similar thing, but at least voice-acts the wall of text so that the player can try to remember what the voice was telling them to do.
Another point to the above: the 1997 strategy game Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines. The game's tutorial consists entirely of non-interactive videos. Given the game's merciless difficulty, I'm sure this didn't help much either. The first mission is near impossible unless you already know exactly what to do.
Another example of a bad tutorial: the "trial by fire." You're eager to get the player to the "good part", but you don't want to throw him into a combat situation without him knowing how to at least take cover and shoot back. Just Cause 2 does this to an extent - the first thing that happens is you are tossed out of a chopper. Then the game teaches you how to maneuver in the air and pull your parachute. It's entirely possible to die here. Then the game teaches you how to use the grappling hook, because you have no weapons. Granted, the parachute and hook are the most important parts of the game, but forcing the player out a flying vehicle might not be the best way to train them at times, since many players' first reflex is "SHIT! I'm falling out of a chopper and I'm going to die!" And they panic. Panic is not beneficial to learning how to play a game.
Lastly there's the "stealth" tutorial. In particular I'm going to mention Soldier of Fortune 2. The very last part of SoF2's tutorial is how to sneak around without being spotted or heard. This is far easier said than done. You almost can't do anything in the mission without Sam chiming in and telling you, "Looks like you've been seen, John. Head back inside the fenced area and start over." Not only is failure a constant thing, it also results in you manually having to navigate back to the fence to reset the course.
Honorable mentions here must also be made for many console to PC conversions, in which the tutorial prompts either refer to the XBox buttons, or worse, refer to "aliased" buttons that you have to bind ahead of time. Countless examples: Final Fantasy VII, Resident Evil 4, Mercenaries 2, Lost Planet, Street Fighter 4.
Everyone raves about how video gaming has gone mainstream. Well, the reason that's not happening faster is because many people are intimidated by the games! This stuff really doesn't help.
May 22, 2010
Selectable Output Control Knows Fewer Bounds
Time for a technology-related rant.
I'm once again spending the weekend at Malachai's place, this time with my PS3 in tow (which, by the way, this post was composed on - lol postin from mah ps3!). PS3, of course, has an internet browser built in. So I surfed my way to Youtube, intending to watch some old videos from my Favorites. I came upon a Top Gear clip of Richard Hammond and James May playing "car darts" - but lo and behold, the following error appears.
Apparently Youtube is now capable of singling out what platforms can and cannot play a specific video. Presumably this is at the behest of the BBC, but this is a very bad precedent. Those of us that want to have a full-featured media center in our living rooms now have just one more obstacle; this effectively means that a media center can only be a PC running Windows (because who knows, maybe some video site somewhere has blocked Linux and Mac OS X users as well!).
I'm once again spending the weekend at Malachai's place, this time with my PS3 in tow (which, by the way, this post was composed on - lol postin from mah ps3!). PS3, of course, has an internet browser built in. So I surfed my way to Youtube, intending to watch some old videos from my Favorites. I came upon a Top Gear clip of Richard Hammond and James May playing "car darts" - but lo and behold, the following error appears.
This video is not available on your device.
Apparently Youtube is now capable of singling out what platforms can and cannot play a specific video. Presumably this is at the behest of the BBC, but this is a very bad precedent. Those of us that want to have a full-featured media center in our living rooms now have just one more obstacle; this effectively means that a media center can only be a PC running Windows (because who knows, maybe some video site somewhere has blocked Linux and Mac OS X users as well!).
May 17, 2010
Weasel's E3 2010 Predictions
Since E3 is far from the huge industry spectacle that it once was (actually it seems to have not changed that much for us non-industry people), my predictions might seem a bit overblown this year. But here goes anyway. I'll also be including betting odds, in case anybody wants to bet me cold hard cash that something will happen.
The Likely
2:1 - Activision releases gameplay footage of Call of Duty: Black Ops.
2:1 - Singularity's multiplayer component to be developed by someone other than Raven Software. (Double-down: said someone will be fired on Day One of game's release.)
3:1 - Activision confirms Raven Software's involvement in the next Modern Warfare 2 map pack.
The Not-so-Likely
5:1 - First trailer of Metal Gear Solid Rising. (Double-down: said trailer will be later confirmed to have been running in real-time on an XBox 360.)
5:1 - Call of Duty Black Ops to be a console exclusive with "no plans" to release PC version.
10:1 - Trailer of upcoming XCOM revival will demonstrate the game's business and management aspects. (Double-down: there will be a riot in the crowds watching said trailer as the people who grew up with the original X-COM will become enraged at the new game's simplification, while people who never had any idea what X-COM was will be unrealistically excited about the "depth" of the new game.)
10:1 - Nintendo announces Nintendo 3DS will use nVidia Tegra mobile graphics chipset, and will have mobile-phone-style "third" screen on the back of the top screen's clamshell, to display the system's status while in sleep mode and to display silly pictures and game-specific information on the outside of the system. (Double-down: the nVidia partnership won't happen at all, and ATi will announce a new, similar graphics chip developed specifically for 3DS.)
The Borderline Nutty
15:1 - Metal Gear Solid Rising to have PC port available at launch.
15:1 - Metal Gear Solid Rising announced to be "special edition" of MGS4, with Raiden's new storyline being only part of the package; the rest of the game will be announced to be an enhanced port of MGS4 to the XBox 360 with additional VR Missions and special weapons and gadgets (some of which are exclusive to each console's version).
15:1 - Ubisoft announces partnership with internet service providers to enable gamers to receive "games on demand" direct from their service providers for an additional monthly fee on their service bill. (Double-down: Said service will actually be their new DRM system: Ubisoft's next major game will be announced later in the year to be exclusively available through "games on demand".)
15:1 - Sega announces plans to localize Ryu Ga Gotoku: Kenzan, under the new title, "Yakuza: Origins."
The WTF Section
20:1 - Valve goes completely apeshit and announces Team Fortress 2's imminent conversion to a "free to play" business model, similar to Battlefield: Heroes, in which the game is free to download and play, but players can pay additional money to buy the special weapons and hats without needing to earn the achievements. (Double-down: Engineer update becomes the first update that players cannot unlock with achievements - all of Engineer's new items must be purchased.)
25:1 - Bobby Kotick is assaulted on-stage by an angry ex-Infinity Ward programmer.
25:1 - Peter Molyneux demonstrates "Mylo", his Project Natal tech-demo, at which point he will utter a key phrase that one of his programmers slipped in without his knowledge, causing Mylo to begin a rant like no other.
30:1 - Peter Moore, famous for getting temporary tattoos with the logos of upcoming games, will get a permanent tattoo for the next Madden game, bearing the likeness of said game's cover player. (Double-down: Said cover player will also appear on stage along with a group of other players to demonstrate the next Madden's integration with Playstation Move and Microsoft's Project Natal, at which point one of them will tackle the cover player and directly invoke the Madden Curse on stage.)
The Likely
2:1 - Activision releases gameplay footage of Call of Duty: Black Ops.
2:1 - Singularity's multiplayer component to be developed by someone other than Raven Software. (Double-down: said someone will be fired on Day One of game's release.)
3:1 - Activision confirms Raven Software's involvement in the next Modern Warfare 2 map pack.
The Not-so-Likely
5:1 - First trailer of Metal Gear Solid Rising. (Double-down: said trailer will be later confirmed to have been running in real-time on an XBox 360.)
5:1 - Call of Duty Black Ops to be a console exclusive with "no plans" to release PC version.
10:1 - Trailer of upcoming XCOM revival will demonstrate the game's business and management aspects. (Double-down: there will be a riot in the crowds watching said trailer as the people who grew up with the original X-COM will become enraged at the new game's simplification, while people who never had any idea what X-COM was will be unrealistically excited about the "depth" of the new game.)
10:1 - Nintendo announces Nintendo 3DS will use nVidia Tegra mobile graphics chipset, and will have mobile-phone-style "third" screen on the back of the top screen's clamshell, to display the system's status while in sleep mode and to display silly pictures and game-specific information on the outside of the system. (Double-down: the nVidia partnership won't happen at all, and ATi will announce a new, similar graphics chip developed specifically for 3DS.)
The Borderline Nutty
15:1 - Metal Gear Solid Rising to have PC port available at launch.
15:1 - Metal Gear Solid Rising announced to be "special edition" of MGS4, with Raiden's new storyline being only part of the package; the rest of the game will be announced to be an enhanced port of MGS4 to the XBox 360 with additional VR Missions and special weapons and gadgets (some of which are exclusive to each console's version).
15:1 - Ubisoft announces partnership with internet service providers to enable gamers to receive "games on demand" direct from their service providers for an additional monthly fee on their service bill. (Double-down: Said service will actually be their new DRM system: Ubisoft's next major game will be announced later in the year to be exclusively available through "games on demand".)
15:1 - Sega announces plans to localize Ryu Ga Gotoku: Kenzan, under the new title, "Yakuza: Origins."
The WTF Section
20:1 - Valve goes completely apeshit and announces Team Fortress 2's imminent conversion to a "free to play" business model, similar to Battlefield: Heroes, in which the game is free to download and play, but players can pay additional money to buy the special weapons and hats without needing to earn the achievements. (Double-down: Engineer update becomes the first update that players cannot unlock with achievements - all of Engineer's new items must be purchased.)
25:1 - Bobby Kotick is assaulted on-stage by an angry ex-Infinity Ward programmer.
25:1 - Peter Molyneux demonstrates "Mylo", his Project Natal tech-demo, at which point he will utter a key phrase that one of his programmers slipped in without his knowledge, causing Mylo to begin a rant like no other.
30:1 - Peter Moore, famous for getting temporary tattoos with the logos of upcoming games, will get a permanent tattoo for the next Madden game, bearing the likeness of said game's cover player. (Double-down: Said cover player will also appear on stage along with a group of other players to demonstrate the next Madden's integration with Playstation Move and Microsoft's Project Natal, at which point one of them will tackle the cover player and directly invoke the Madden Curse on stage.)
May 13, 2010
Quit Spending Your Damn Money, Weasel
Things I really should not have bought over the last week: Just Cause 2, inFamous, a pair of sweatpants that didn't fit, an A&W Cream Soda, and $1 worth of credits at one of those silly touch-screen arcade machines they have at bars (on which I ended up playing Solitaire, of all things).
I'm an impulse buyer. That's a big problem when I'm making only slightly more than $100 a week on unemployment benefits. It's especially bad in that there's a lot of crap out there that I want, really bad. I'm still catching up on last year's game releases (and even some games from up to ten years ago that I can't seem to get any other way). Having a debit card is dangerous for me. So is having a PayPal account. I should probably "lock down" my spending for a month or so.
I'm an impulse buyer. That's a big problem when I'm making only slightly more than $100 a week on unemployment benefits. It's especially bad in that there's a lot of crap out there that I want, really bad. I'm still catching up on last year's game releases (and even some games from up to ten years ago that I can't seem to get any other way). Having a debit card is dangerous for me. So is having a PayPal account. I should probably "lock down" my spending for a month or so.
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