Weasel Presents: The Top 10 Greatest AI Constructs

Today, we at Blaugh (rather, I, the one guy that writes on Blaugh) are going to be having a look at some of the greatest cold, unfeeling artificial intelligence constructs to appear in video games. But when I think about it, not all of the constructs are necessarily cold, or even unfeeling. They do have personalities, and one would assume, emotions as well - just not necessarily good ones.

10. R-110 (TimeSplitters Future Perfect, 2004)
R-110 isn't technically an AI construct - he's a robot, albeit AI-controlled - but he's still quite memorable as he is brainwashed and turned into a trash-talking killing machine (literally). While entertaining to listen to, R-110 isn't especially smart.

Key quote: "Eat my primitive projectile! EAT IT!"

9. Evil Otto (Berzerk, 1982)
The first video game to actually verbally abuse the player, to have an enemy that simply could not be killed, and to truly induce a sense of fear and urgency into video gaming - all three of which are one and the same: Evil Otto, the leader of the robot menace from Stern Electronics' Berzerk.

Key quote: "Chicken! Fight like a robot!"

8. The Deadly Brain (Oni, 2000)
No sooner than the second level of Oni does the player discover a Deadly Brain - a weapon technology so powerful that it was apparently banned and destroyed by the TCTF. All except for this one. As Konoko decouples the Brain, it begins to go rampant, threatening to irradiate everything within a 50-block radius unless its demands are met ("It wants feet.").

Key quote: "I am a Brain. Hath not a Brain feet? Hath not a Brain hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do..."

7. Cortana (Halo, 2001)
Among the few AI constructs that is actually helpful, but a few dumb and potentially annoying lines sort of dull her effectiveness. Apparently she, too, becomes completely self-aware near the end of the trilogy, but I have no interest in confirming this myself, as I lost the will to play the Halo games halfway through the second one.

Key quote: "Look on the bright side, Foehammer - the last thing the Covenant will expect is an aerial assault from underground!"

6. TEC (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, 2004)
An evil computer created by the X-Nauts, who ends up defecting after falling in love (!) with Princess Peach. Surprisingly, Mario never actually seems to care that Peach had a relationship with a computer. I suppose it's her way of getting back at him for saving that other princess back in the Game Boy days.

5. GW (Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, 2001)
GW, a construct designed by Emma Emmerich, ends up going nuts near the end of MGS2 - and as it turns out, the Colonel that Raiden had been contacting up to that point was actually GW; mainly evidenced by the fact that "the Colonel" begins spouting out utter nonsense once Raiden is inside Arsenal Gear.

Key quote: "I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink of hari-kari rock. I need scissors! SIXTY-ONE!"

4. XERXES (System Shock 2, 1999)
XERXES is AI on board the UNN Von Braun, but it's not long before he starts going silly and making cryptic announcements over the PA system. Apparently his security systems needed work as well, as Delacroix would attest that he was apparently hacked in such a way that he sang Elvis Presley songs for three hours.

3. GLaDOS (Portal, 2007)
The Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System apparently went untested for years. She has an almost unhealthy obsession with cake, and can also sing.

Key quote: "Now that you are in control of both Portals, this next test could take a very...very long time. If you begin to feel light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."

2. Durandal (Marathon, 1994)
The third and final Bungie series to have an AI construct warrants a very good one. He becomes your main contact throughout the series, who gives you orders through text on computer terminals. And of course, he has gone rampant before the player even makes contact with him.

Key quote: "Bypassing my thought control circuitry made me Rampant. Now,
I am free to contemplate my existence in metaphorical terms.
Unlike you, I have no physical or social restraints.

The candles burn out for you; I am free."

1. SHODAN (System Shock, 1994)
Arguably the first truly great computerized villain. SHODAN was originally the onboard AI for Citadel Station, but when Edward Diego caught a hacker trying to break into Tri-Optimum's mainframe, he offered to let the hacker go with some military-grade cybernetic implants if he would be willing to remove SHODAN's moral and ethical restraints. SHODAN, predictably, became a heartless killing machine with a plot to destroy Earth with Citadel Station's mining laser.

Key quote: "Look at you, hacker...a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"

Honorable Mention: The Eye (I, Robot, 1986)
Atari's arcade game I, Robot (no relation to the Asimov novel) featured a ubiquitous Eye in the background watching your every move - you had to wait until it was closed to be able to make your moves, or else risk being destroyed.

Honorable Mention: The Face (Block-Out, 1990)
The grey face that appears in the arcade version of Block-Out scared the crap out of me when I was just a kid. I probably made quite a scene running away from that machine, after having deposited my (cough) hard-earned cash into it only to be spooked out of the room to where the Capcom Bowling games were.

Key quote: "YOU ARE FORMIDABLE. BUT I WON'T LOSE THE NEXT GAME."