Did You See What's On The Telly?

For the full effect, read the title out loud in your best Terry Jones-style falsetto.

Well, concerning tellies, I'm considering picking up a high-definition set and perhaps some new cables for my console systems. I'm mainly concerned about the Next Generation (amid complaints that games like Dead Rising are difficult to play on standard definition sets due to the small text). But mainly, it's because I'm sick of my TV not doing anything remotely cool (low quality picture, awful sound, and only support for a coaxial connection). Currently the system is hooked up to a $35 RadioShack RF modulator, which at least enables me to hook a console up to it; plus a ~$20 composite A/V switchbox that allows me to hook up a second console (and make sure both are connected to my stereo system).

But to put it in simple terms: I'm sick of the TV I have not doing anything remotely cool. Not to mention the fact that it was advertised as having stereo sound, where what it really means is "mono sound but it's coming out of two speakers."

So what I'm going to do now is shop around for a new HDTV. Either a small one that'll fit on my desk, or a flatpanel I can hang on the wall. I may end up having to take down several wall-hangings to fit it up there, but the benefit is that I can stage two-player console gaming sessions where the two players may sit on my bed and lounge on it whilst enjoying stuff like Lego Star Wars 2, Timesplitters Future Perfect, or a healthy Dreamcast session of Cannon Spike.

But my main motivation is to "future-proof" myself. I've got the computer system that I can easily run just about any game made over the next few years with respectably high settings (save for the stuff that depends on Ageia's PhysX card - that stuff destroys my system's performance). I've got the handhelds that can give me adequate entertainment on the go. All I need is a TV that I can play all those awesome new next-gen console games with - and maybe watch a movie or two. (Beavis & Butthead...progressive scan...imagine that!)

The best part is that I can potentially use this prospect of buying a new TV as a way to establish a credit rating. And those are pretty important, from what I understand.

I'm mostly concerned with slaughtering zombies in high-def, though.

False Alarm

Remember, a few posts back, when I wrote "Insert Angry Swear Words Here"? Well...any swear words that you happened to insert, please remove them now =P

As luck would have it, the Avamere building is practically full to the brim. Which means that they can afford to pay us wage slaves kitchen workers again. So i've got my hours back. Hoorj.

As for the Objectioning...well, the Gyakuten Saiban 4 trailer got released over at the Tokyo Game Show 2006 - and I like what I see. Though I seem to have fallen into the "rabid fanboy speculation" trap - does anybody else think that Mr. Garyu looks suspiciously like Edgeworth? Or that guy in the parka that looks like an older, stubblier Phoenix?

Snooze-Bits

A few quick newsbits before I got to sleep. (Don't know why, but I'm just not tired...)

PSP-age continues, as I download a playable demo of Ape Escape Racer that somehow made it onto the internet, even though it was supposed to only be available at the 2006 Tokyo Game Show event. Glad I didn't fly to Japan just to get it - it sucks.

More PSP-age as I figure out how to view animated GIF's on the machine without needing any firmware hacks (just use the web browser to open it like a webpage), and even transplant some light reading material (like the entire 1998 vintage of the Bastard Operator from Hell series). Unfortunately, transplanting manga is a little on the difficult side - not because it's hard, but because the PSP has to dynamically load parts of the image. As you scroll around in the photo viewer, the system cranks away, swapping things between system memory. So moving rapidly between chunks of an image will produce results similar to watching a large JPEG image loading from a slow web server.

I've gone back to playing Phoenix Wright, case 5, just to get some choice quotes from the game.

I have entered my Miles Edgeworth avatar into the second Digitalmzx.net Avatar Wars competition, where I am currently beating out a semi-tired internet meme (that of the Giant Enemy Crabs and Massive Damage) in the first round. I was a good sport though - I voted for my opponent.

Valkyrie Profile rules.

I haven't seen any bomb-defusing minigames in Metal Gear Acid, but I have noticed that the "Mission Start" sound in Ac!dBomb is actually taken from MGA. I have ripped this sound effect and stored it for my personal WAV collection, where it currently resides next to various clips of people shouting "OBJECTION!".

I'm going to do a hell of a lot of walking this week, I expect. I better make sure I dress for the weather - don't want to sweat myself to death, nor do I want to catch a cold. Gotta find another job - preferably one that won't pay me peanuts and change my schedule several times in succession. (It's a good thing I acted on a hunch today and came in a half-hour early, because otherwise I would have been late.)

Must deposit this paycheck. I better have the money for the Wii.

Must remember to bring a backpack when I go on my walk - just in case I need to carry things like drinks or other purchased goods.

I am addicted to Shoutcast. I've got nine stations in my Winamp bookmarks - oc@ormgas (video game remixes), VGamp (video game music), StreamingSoundtracks (video game and movie soundtracks), Atlantic Sound Factory (rock), Drone Zone (atmospheric ambient space music), and four variants on Gaming FM (complete selection, modern console, classic console, and total PC).

I must rest for today. perhaps I can fall asleep if I punch myself in the head repeatedly...

Banking...On Destruction!!

"Screw it," I declared aloud to myself. "Credit unions aren't all they're cracked up to be anyway. I might as well go back to the damn bank and get my account, since the manager's going to be in and everything..."

So I embarked on the Grand Journey with my dear mother, and got my Free Checking and Savings Accounts at the local banking establishment. Checks, savings, debit card...aw yeah. I'm set to go (in a couple weeks here, anyway). And the kind manager offered me the option to pick which number my checks start off at - so I figured, what the hell. I picked 1337 as the first check - because the first purchase I make with this money is going to be pretty leet anyway. (Unless the parents insist that I pay their monthly "rent" with checks...)

So I'm happy.

And I had my hair colored today - blonde tips/highlights. It looks pretty good...I oughta take a picture once I've gotten off my butt and shaved.

Insert Angry Swear Words Here

The meeting occured yesterday to little fanfare. As it turns out, the majority of the goofing-off complaints were directed towards one of the cooks, so I'm mostly in the clear.

But what has me really worried: our building is apparently losing money, and had to lay off the head chef. And my hours have been cut clear in half.

So now, I work five days a week, for two and a half hours a day. At minimum wage. I'm going to have practically zero income in my next few paychecks.

What I think will end up happening: I'm going to file my two weeks' notice and go find another job. But not yet.

I have to make sure my references are all taken care of, and make sure I can actually get to where I'm going first. Since my transportation options are limited (very limited - I can only walk), I won't have many options on where to work.

If I ever intend on supporting myself...a dead-end, low-hours job like this one isn't going to pay the bills.

Insert Growling Noise Here

The silly title might lead you to believe that this is going to be a silly entry, but it really isn't.

I honestly cannot see myself as a slacker. When I work, I work hard until the job is complete - sometimes looking around afterwards to see if there's any more work to do. I usually don't goof around on the job - I save that for designated goof-off times (before and after work). Upon looking closely at the behavior of my coworkers (and my boss), I don't exactly believe that anybody else at my job is really a slacker either.

So it puzzles the hell out of me when, last night, the girls discover that a note has been left in the boss's office, written in the chicken-scrawl handwriting of the Big, Big Boss (the administrator in charge). This note essentially states that the higher-ups think we're goofing off too much and that things are not getting done like they're supposed to. It goes on to mention that there is to be a mandatory meeting for all kitchen staff (on very short notice, might I add). There are a fair number of kitchen staff that have that day off, so it'll be a vast inconvenience for them to show up.

I can only wonder who management thinks is responsible for this goofing-off epidemic. My conscience is clear, certainly. But I wouldn't be surprised if I end up playing the defense attorney, attempting to protect myself from what I expect to be a constant onslaught of false accusations and out-of-context behavior.

I'm pretty sure management isn't as ruthless as, say, Miles Edgeworth - but I don't have particularly high hopes for this meeting.

Unless it has to do with hiring more kitchen staff, in which case, FINALLY THANK YOU GOD.

Regional Influence

Amid screwing around with my beloved new piece of technology, I discovered one very interesting feature (or lack of feature, as it were) - the PSP has no region lockout whatsoever.

With this information in mind, I managed to acquire a playable demo version of a Japanese game entitled Mercury Meltdown. I can only wonder if this game has arrived in the US yet, but if it has, I may end up buying it.

On a slightly more legitimate front, I also got a demo of the much-hyped LocoRoco. It took a bit to figure out the game's physics, but it seems like an enjoyable play. I'll probably consider this a low priority purchase, though (on a global scale, as opposed to a per-console scale).

On priorities, though, I've quickly thrown together a list of my Priority Purchases for the remainder of 2006. My list is usually considered a "Target of Opportuniy" listing - I will only actively search out the highest-ranking items, while other items I'll buy if I happen upon them while looking for other stuff.

Priority 5: Lumines (PSP)
That was the one game that I wanted to buy a PSP for, but the damn store didn't have it, so I bought Valkyrie Profile instead.

Priority 4: Better Quality TV Set
Probably a severe longshot to be able to purchase a TV before the end of the year (unless I get a credit card - because I ought to establish a credit rating). My ideal TV would be a smaller model that supports composite and component video directly, as opposed to having to pipe the signal through an RF modulator box like I have now.

Priority 3: Morrowind Game of the Year
Yeah, I've got Oblivion, and I could always just play the pirated version of Morrowind I have already, but I'd much like to have the expansion packs (in a form that doesn't destroy the game when they're installed).

Priority 2: Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
Unless my brother gives his copy away to me.

Priority 1: Nintendo Wii system
The only next-gen console I plan to buy anytime soon also happens to be the first console system that I purchase right at launch day. I don't expect others to be as excited as I am (especially not the brother). I do, however, expect there to be a rather long line.

Behind The Curve, Ahead Of The Other Curve

In efforts to kick-start my life, I decided it was time to get a bank account. That way, I'd have a debit card and savings and all that fun stuff.

Several weeks ago, I decided to have Mom take me down to the bank and help me set up an account. They asked for picture ID. I took my student ID card from a couple years ago, and they told me it was no good and that I'd have to have a state ID or driver's license.

Last week, I picked up my state ID card. I didn't have time to go to the bank. This week, I finally went back to that bank with my state ID (and some checks to deposit).

They took the state ID. But they said that we'd have to produce a SECOND form of ID, what with the Patriot Act and everything. AARGH. The ID they said to have ready was social security card, birth certificate, and proof of address.

Rather than drive back home to get the stuff and then all the way BACK to Sherwood to accomplish this, Mom decided to just go to the bank in Newberg that's right down the street from our house (gee, what a novel idea). So we showed up with my ID card, the extra papers, and some "proof of address" for good measure.

They didn't take any of it, except the ID card. Why? Because I was over 18 years old. The helpful (yeah, whatever) attendant said that her manager would be able to make an exception, but this fabled "manager" wasn't in on weekends (which happens to be the ONLY TIME I GET TO LEAVE THE HOUSE outside of work).

For some reason, a birth certificate is NOT valid identification, but a credit card is. How the fuck does that make sense?! And why do they ask me for this stuff when it took the exact same proof of ID to get my ID card in the first place?!

The answer is, yet again, the god damn Patriot Act.

I say, screw the bank. I'm signing up with a credit union instead. Since my parents have had accounts there for years, it ought to be easier to get one for myself. The only issue is transportation (since their HQ is all the way in Hillsboro, last I heard).

I hate being behind the curve. By all rights I should have my license by now but I haven't bothered even studying the driver's manual.

Sigh.

On a lighter note, Mom allowed me to indulge in some "retail therapy" - because there was no way I was walking out of the shopping center empty handed. So I picked up a PSP (like I said I would), Metal Gear Acid 2, and Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth. As luck would have it, said PSP runs on Firmware version 2.60 - so if I decide to trade my copy of GTA: Liberty City Stories for the PSP version, I can use the eLoader exploit to run homebrew programs (like Exophase's game boy advance emulator, among other things). Til then, though, I can always play a crappy Tetris clone, or a sub-par SFCave clone, or an above average Nibbles clone.

Or I could play Metal Gear Acid, since I bought the damn thing...

Hell Is Friday

But most people wouldn't think so - after all, Friday is the last work day of the week.

Well, not for me. And it's not the most pleasant mid-week work day either.

Recently, Larry (the chef, the boss, the president, the big cheese) has been hurting for help. Since one of our better employees jumped ship to work for McDonald's (unfortunately it was one that I happened to like), and another had to jump ship to dedicate her time to school work, I would normally be alone on Friday nights. Working the dining room is never pleasant at dinner time, but it's worse when you're alone.

I'm not exactly alone - I've got Rose (the other Big Chef) helping out when she has time, and there's also another hostess working with me. But the rate she's going, she may as well not even be there.

I recount last Friday's incident. It was around four thirty in the evening, and most of the building showed up for dinner. Many of them had already recieved their Soup D'Jour, and I was preparing to go take orders. As it seemed, the new girl had already begun (without prior instruction from Rose). I suppose she was working entirely from the map in the kitchen, which displays the numbers of each table in the room, the names of the residents that sit at said tables, and whether or not they are diabetic or have problems swallowing.

She claimed to have prior experience at a nursing home, and at a reasonably popular restaurant establishment. I figured she'd learn the ropes pretty quick.

She hasn't seemed to catch on yet, regrettably. Of the orders she took, she messed up the names on a few of them, resulting in the dishes being delivered to the wrong people (sometimes even the wrong table entirely). She skipped over a whole table when delivering dessert. And perhaps worst of all, she took all the orders at once before taking them into the kitchen for Rose to start serving plates. This presented a huge delay - I clocked a whole half hour of overtime that night, mainly from taking time to "rally" the residents ("Your dinner is taking a while, I admit, because we're a little short-staffed today. I hope you understand but we're having trouble keeping up with all the orders tonight.") and make sure the new girl knows exactly where people are (because I don't want a repeat of that incident again).

Tonight was a little better. I still ended up clocking a few minutes of overtime (it was only three minutes, so why I bothered writing it on the time sheet is beyond me) but I've learned my lesson, and hopefully she has too.

Because the residents just know something's happened when Rose has to come out and deliver orders.

Telephone Tribulation

Every morning at about 10:00, sometimes at night after the parents have gone to bed, I get a phone call from the same number. Caller ID reports it as an 800 number with no name. Naturally, I don't answer it - after all, that's the whole reason we've got caller ID in the first place is so I don't waste my time answering calls like this.

But I can't even count the number of times these people have called. Just yesterday, they actually called TWICE that morning. And another three times at night. Who knows how many times during the day.

I don't usually get pissed at the phone, but when it's near the end of my work week and my feet hurt, it can be rather troublesome (and somewhat painful) to walk out of my room and to the shady corner of the house where we keep our phone.

Yeah. I'm a little annoyed.

Good news, though. Since the Nintendo Wii's launch date (November 19th) and price ($250 for the system and one game) were announced yesterday, I've determined that I really freaking want one. I'm actually going to go wait in line to pick one up at launch day.

The convenient part about it: in a city not too far from where I live, there's a shopping district that has two places that'll be selling the Wii. There's EB Games, which I expect to have a rather high customer turnout; and Target, which probably won't have many people at all, given the fact that EB Games will have all the people. Either way, I'm going to do the Line Camping thing and try to get there pretty soon so I'll get my system. As for entertainment while I wait: that's why I bought the DS, isn't it?

Weekend WoWpdate

As some of you are aware, I've been playing World of Warcraft recently. My stable of characters has grown steadily, and their levels have swelled considerably (cough, cough).

Here's an update on where they're all at...

Ratix Fontein (human male rogue) is really freaking close to Level 15, but he's currently bored of his quests and can't seem to find any herbs to sustain his alchemy skills. Ratix currently rests at an inn at Stormwind, for which he has developed a certain homey feel (despite a traumatizing event in his youth which he doesn't care to elaborate upon).

Lynea Caygne (human female warlock) is also really freaking close to level 15, but she can't be bothered to fight as of late. She is currently vacationing at the Westfall area, which she has been quoted as saying is "a lot like home, except there's a lot less people dying."

Lecterien (undead male mage) remains unaware of the rest of the people and (last I saw him) was standing atop a tent south of Deathknell. He hasn't come down in a few weeks and remains locked at Level 6.

Bereznik Packrunner (dwarf male hunter) reaches Level 10 at last, and has developed a slightly unhealthy habit of taming beasts as pets, running into the center of town, and dismissing them to watch the mountaineers shoot them in cold blood. He's getting quite good at pounding stones into little bits of powder, though.

Naitreau Glisserin (gnome male warrior/chickenbaby) is currently lodged in the inn at Goldshire at Level 5. He hasn't gained a single point of experience since the last trip he made to Stranglethorn Vale and is probably drinking his sorrows away.

Samaya (night elf female warrior) is progressing rapidly despite her recent shoo-in status. She reached Level 5 this morning after only eight hours of lifetime, and several accidental collisions with Dirania Silvershine's flaming cauldron (and a few intentional ones).

Endrik (dwarf male rogue) remains in the character list after who-knows-how-long, presumed to be in stasis at Level 9. As Endrik is not my character (he is my brother's) I have not logged him in at all. I have no plans to delete him, either. Mostly he'll be there to stop me from filling the character roster completely.

Part Two, Dammit

It really SHOULD read "Dammit, Part Two" but it sounds funnier this way.

I'm back on my Phoenix Wright kick. (Was I ever off?) I've downloaded wav clips of the various cast members shouting "Objection!" and assigned them to Windows sounds. I almost used the clip of Godot shouting IGI-ARI, but Phoenix's English version is a little more satisfying.

And I also threw together another subtle animated avatar, of young Miles Edgeworth as he appears in the third game.

And for comparison, here is Manfred von Karma in a similar situation:


Feel free to use them for yourself. I claim no ownership of the images whatsoever. (Nor do I claim ownership of the copy of Animation Shop used to create them, but that's beside the point.)

The Process

So how does a guy like me, who recieves $300 paychecks twice a month, decide on what games to blow his hard-earned cash on? It's not an easy choice. Here's what I usually do when I'm interested in a game:

1. I check how expensive it is and see what platforms the game is available for. As a general rule, I tend to prefer the PC versions of first-person and strategy games, and the console versions of most everything else.

2. I read FAQ's and such to figure out if there's a major difference between each version. This is the case with Prince of Persia - the unlockables are different for each version.

3. I check out some professional reviews. Normally I do this using www.gamerankings.com - though Joystiq's MetaReview on select titles comes in handy for games like LocoRoco. For these, I tend to read the entire text of the review to pick out the major issues and praises about the game.

4. Next, I go to Gamefaqs and read the lowest scoring reviews I can find for the game. I do this so I can see what the majority of the community has to complain about. I don't read the entire reviews, and I care not about their scores.

5. If I haven't made a purchase decision by now, I ask at a forum like Hardcore Gaming 101 to see if anybody else owns the game and if they would recommend it.

6. If I happen upon a game without knowing the first thing about it, I base my purchase solely on the price tag. Example: Gungrave - I only bought the games because they were $3 each. I don't regret it.

Obligation

Well, I seem to have forgotten last night that today happens to be September 11th. As such, it is my obligation to post something about how so many people died this time five years ago, or how brave the people were that cleaned up the mess afterwards or tried to stop that one plane that ended up crashing into that field. I apologize for using such vague references (as it might be somewhat disrespectful) but I can't be bothered to look stuff like this up at the moment. I've a lot to do today and time is of the essence.

But I still need to get this off my chest.

I realize that it was a sad day when those towers were crushed into mortal oblivion by a couple of passenger jets. In fact, I actually cried when I saw the news report (and I'm not one to cry that often, except when watching Disney's "The Kid" near the end, because I hate that movie). But five years after the fact, is it really that important for every major news source (and several minor and inconsequential services) to cover the event around this time every year? It's only been five years. Other nasty events have happened since then that have been every bit as devastating as the 9/11 attacks. Hurricane Katrina, for example. Or the war in Iraq, which as of this writing has claimed as many American lives as the 9/11 attacks did.

Look at all the other stuff that has happened in the past. The JFK assassination. Watergate. World War 2, Vietnam, and the Gulf War. The London subway bombings. The media doesn't even bother covering those anymore, likely because they're officially deemed Old News. But seriously, folks - how long does it take for the media to stop reporting news like this? I hear more about 9/11 than I do about Hurricane Katrina and Paris Hilton combined.

Maybe it's just my disgust with the general ethics of the news, the Associated Press, Reuters, and the like. But when their influence spreads throughout the Internet and makes people post articles like this....

...come to think of it, why the hell did I just write this? I hate you, Associated Press! You're controlling my mind again! Next you'll somehow get me to believe Jack Thompson's mad ramblings (like hell they will).

Your Identification, Please

Yesterday, I finally got picture ID. Not a permit or a license (because I haven't been a good boy and studied the damn drivers manual) - just a state ID card. I should have shaved the night before, but everybody has a crappy picture on their ID, so it's not too big a deal.

Tomorrow, hopefully (Dad willing) I will go and set up a bank account, obtain a debit card, and all that other crapola. Set up an autodeposit and all that. And I'll also have to walk down to work and pick up my paycheck, so I'll have something to deposit.

And once I get that taken care of: PSP, baby. I want this thing pretty bad now (because my recent addiction to Mr. Chubigans' Ac!dbomb has led me to wonder what the actual Metal Gear Acid bomb defusal game is like. (And LocoRoco is sounding pretty fun, too, despite a few lackluster scores from the whiny people on the 'net.)

Somehow, I'm also interested in picking up Deep Labyrinth for DS. It's certainly not going to be the handheld equivalent of Oblivion (or even Morrowind) but I am still going to grab a copy and try it out. If I don't like it, I can always trade it in and get the majority of the price back.

There happened to be a barbeque here yesterday, and we're still sorting through the leftovers. I'm surprised - I always thought barbequed hamburgers were never any good after the first day, but I had them for two straight meals today and they were arguably just as good as when they first came off the grill. And the best part was, the grill actually worked this time (last time we had to resort to using the stove griddle instead).

Impulse Buys of the Week: Beavis & Butthead - The Mike Judge Collection Vol. 3 (includes Letters to Santa Butthead), and Pinky & The Brain Vol. 1. Still watching through B&B at the moment.

Rated Arrrr!

I'm going to promote the hell out of this. I am NOT going to miss it again this year!

As it happens, the 19th falls on a tuesday, which means that I'm going to be able to do my piratey hijinks at work. I can only wonder if anybody else is going to do this with me, or if I'm going to get a bunch of bizarre looks and "Give me whatever he's smokin'" muttered behind my back.

Thankfully, though, there's a company-sanctioned variant coming next week, in the form of Avamere Spirit Week. Boring stuff, but I intend to spice things up.

Here's how it works - Monday is pajama day (won't even be there on Monday because that's my equivalent of a Sunday). Tuesday is hat day (ought to break out the ol' fedora). Wednesday is western day (wonder if I have any cowboy hats or shirts around...I damn well better). Thursday is red/white/blue day (boring!), and Friday is Hawaiian day (finally, something I can really take part in).

I've got too many Hawaiian shirts. I better get up early on Friday so I have time to pick one.

It's getting colder, which means summer is almost over (just get it over with already, dammit!). I woke up this morning (Da-DUN-dun-DUN-dah) and my feet was cold (Da-DUN-dun-DUN-dah). I SAAAAIIID I woke up this morning (Da-DUN-dun-DUN-dah) and my feet was cold (Da-DUN-dun-DUN-dah). [[Insert blues lyrics here.]]

Something has come up that may delay my PSP purchase - EB Games is stocking the "entertainment" package, which includes the system, some ATV racing game, some skating movie, and a 1 GB memory stick for just $50 more than the "core" system. This is hitting shelves on the 19th - normally I'd wait until next saturday to pick up the new piece of kit, since I get paid on the 10th (the 11th in this case because the 10th is a Sunday); but with the bundle coming on the 19th (after my scheduled shopping weekend), I may delay my purchase. Though the UMDs that come with the bundle aren't that interesting - I'd probably trade them in the next chance that I get, or else see how much EB Games sells an identical combination of PSP system and 1 GB memstick for. Because seriously, I like the Tony Hawk games and all, but I'm not interested enough in skateboarding to have any intention to watch Lords of Dogtown.

And ATV Offroad Fury just doesn't appear very entertaining - it's probably another port.

Now Hear This!

It's been seriously nostalgic for me in terms of music, especially over the past month or so.

It started when dearest Brother emailed me a copy of "Last Train Home" by the Pat Metheny Group. I hadn't heard that song in years.

Then I picked up some albums from Dad's jukebox machine (which we've named "Carlos Sanchez", after the default player driver in Grand Prix World Circuit), which appropriately enough were of the Carlos Santana persuasion. I haven't heard Black Magic Woman in...at least a year now.

The final blow, which has currently sent me spiraling into the realm of Nostalgia, came when Dad finally decided to let me hook up the ol' 486.

This was no ordinary 486. If it were, I wouldn't have even bothered, since I've always got DOSbox.

This 486, while lacking a "proper" sound card (i.e. an SB Pro/16) and running on a sub-standard operating system (IBM PC-DOS 6.3 paired with Windows 3.1), is the current heir to Dad's Roland throne. In other words: it's the one system in the house that can interface with Dad's Roland MT32/MPU401 setup.

A little bit of digging from Dad's closet, and he produced three boxes, a keyboard and a mouse.

The first box was, naturally, the system itself. I unhooked Lord Greystoke (the Pentium 166 I wrote about a while ago) and disposed of all the unnecessary cords and peripherals (in other words, put them in Dad's closet). I used my LCD monitor as a makeshift KVM switch, enabling the 486 (hereafter referred to as "Maniac", after one of the pilots from Wing Commander) to output video.

The second box contained the MT-32 Multi-Timbre Sound Module - a modestly-sized black box with buttons on it that's nearly as old as I am. The third box contained the MPU-401 (needed to interface with the computer) and all the cords necessary for operation.

Once I had everything hooked up...it was time to go to work, literally.

I returned home from work quite early (surprisingly, we finished half an hour early, no thanks to the order-giver a post or two ago) to finish hooking stuff up. Then it came time to start it up - for the first time since May of 2001.

I was astonished by the sheer amount of crap that had been left on it. Games that supported the MT-32, as well as utilities and a certain piece of software that may potentially have been the reason Dad purchased the MT-32 in the first place.

DynaWare Ballade, version 2.5 for DOS.

I marvelled at all the music that was saved on the hard drive. Every single one of Ballade's sample songs remained on the system, as well as over one hundred conversion jobs that Brother and I had undertaken out of sheer boredom. Nearly everything from every genre was represented (except country, rap, and pop). We had the complete soundtrack to Super Mario 64 in Ballade MIDI format, as well as a few classic rock songs (Strawberry Fields, anyone?), ripped songs from Duke Nukem 3D and Descent, and the entrance theme for the WWF's own Cactus Jack (with the guitars replaced with accordions, because for some reason or another, it sounds better that way).

All this nostalgia excited me enough that I decided to record (and convert) one of the sample songs, Worms by C. Geen. So here it is, in both MP3 format (the original MT-32 version) and MIDI format (best played on a card that doesn't have wavetable MIDI on it, or else through GXSCC - Hot Tip: try double-clicking on the GXSCC logo in the program to enter GXOPLL mode).

Download the song here. All credit goes to C. Geen; all I did was record the original song and convert it to MIDI format.

Dammit

Inspired by Doomrater, I've decided to branch out my apparent catch-phrase (which used to be Phoenix Wright, dammit). Let's try some other dammits today...

PSP, dammit.
Metal Gear, dammit.
Ferris Bueller, dammit.
Firefox, dammit.
Dammit, dammit.

...maybe it doesn't work so well when applied to other stuff.

What Difference One Person Makes

...when they're missing.

Today's dinner shift took a little longer than usual, given the fact that we were short-staffed - but the one person that was missing was the one person that I least enjoy working with. I won't name names, naturally (and if I do, I'll change them first) but this person has been something of a thorn in my side. Issuing redundant (or even conflicting) orders and getting noticeably pissed when I don't follow them to the letter.

I felt good tonight in her absence. More confident. More willing to carry out tasks. I might have clocked 15 minutes more than I should have, but I'm sure the boss understands, since we were a person short and all.

Plus it means a few cents extra in my next paycheck.

Speaking of my paycheck (and I know I should start saving more money instead of spending on games), I've made the decision to buy a Playstation Portable.

Reasons why:
- Metal Gear Acid 1 & 2, plus Portable Ops when it hits
- Lumines
- Practical Intelligence Quotient
- Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth
- MP3, video, and Flash playback
- Homebrew!

I'm well aware that most of the PSP's library consists of ports of PS2 (and sometimes PS1) games. But I'm paying particular attention to review scores, looking at the titles that might be going unnoticed, and certainly anticipating some of the future releases (like GTA: Vice City Stories and MGS:PO).

I was originally planning to get a 360 (Dead Rising, dammit) but the PSP looks to be the better deal thus far. Plus I can surf the web at any wi-fi hotspot, though why I would want to (or where I would want to) is beyond me.

I feel like posting a What I'm Playing list, so here goes.

- GTA: Liberty City Stories. The PS2 port. Pretty enjoyable thus far, and contains approximately 75% less F-words than San Andreas. I'm kinda bummed at the fact that you can't climb on walls anymore, but I'm having fun.

- Dragon Quest VIII. Brings back memories of Earthbound, FF4, and the like. Just a simple, no-nonsense RPG with some nice graphics and voice acting, and very well-tuned gameplay balance (but I'm still very confused at why you have to save at chapels).

- Shadow of the Colossus. Beautiful game, but it does have some issues with framerate (maybe if they got rid of some of the silly extra effects like full-screen motion blur when you rotate the camera, bloom lighting, and stuff like that).

- World of Warcraft. But you probably already knew that.

The Cleaner

Two cleaning projects were started today. One was finished. The other is still going.

First: Mom asked me to clean the bathroom...like last frickin' week. I finally did it today. Well, I was under a monetary incentive at the time (clean your bathroom and I WON'T charge you an extra $50 from your paycheck), but hey, I got it clean. That's more than can be said of me most other times.

Second: My complete Amiga TOSEC set finished this morning and I extracted it to find 18.9 GB worth of floppy disk images. That's roughly 13,762,560 floppy disks...three-and-a-half inch disks, at that. That'd probably fill up my entire room, if not the entire house. My project, whether I like it or not, is to root through the entire selection of ADF files and delete all the duplicates and games that I would rather not play (like the soccer, rugby, and golf games).

Third: I purchased GTA: Liberty City Stories for PS2 today. My task is to clean up Liberty City using whatever means at my disposal (usually a baseball bat and a taxi cab).

The Adventures of Naitreau Glisserin

While playing World of Warcraft today, an idea dawned upon me. Since WoW gives experience points for exploring the landscape, why not try playing a character and gain as many levels as possible without killing anybody or taking any quests?

The experiment has so far proven to be a success - my character, Naitreau (a Gnomish Warrior) has already reached Level 3 and made it to the Redridge Mountains.

You can keep tabs on Naitreau's progress at the official Naitreau-Powered! blog: http://naitreau.blogspot.com/

The Send-Off (And Other Amiga Experiences)

I'll confess: I have never owned, nor had any serious time with any real Amiga system. I'm a filthy pirate that gets his kicks with WinUAE and some Kickstart roms that he got via bittorrent. I'm also currently torrenting the entire Amiga TOSEC set so I'll never have to download an Amiga disk image again. (I will, however, have to pull the games out of the gargantuan 7-zip file.)

But I've had enough experiences with this emulated Amiga system that I could write a blog post about them.

From the beginning...

I first discovered the existence of the Amiga back in 2000, upon reading a few reviews of games that originated on the Amiga - Pinball Dreams, Flashback, Valhalla and the Lord of Infinity. I sought out an emulator immediately, and got Fellow. I never did find any ADF files to go with it, though (but I did manage to find the kickstart rom needed to start Fellow).

I gave Amiga emulation a miss until around 2001 when I discovered Amiga In A Box and wondered just how the hell those graphics were possible on a 68040 with a limit of 64 colors on screen. (Turns out, they weren't - my emulator was also emulating a special graphics card and AGA chipset.)

Screwing around with AIAB for a while made me want some games to go with it, since the only thing I could really do with what I had was play mod files and chat on IRC. So I went to get Pinball Dreams.

It took me a good week to get that running, as I struggled with the emulator.

But once I did...the goods came a-flowin'.

Cannon Fodder. Hired Guns. Fury of the Furries. Alien Breed, Worms, and Total Eclipse.

I'd almost be tempted to say that if you can name an Amiga game, I've emulated it. I stress that I did not use the word "played" - as that implies that I actually got said game to run through WinUAE.

But on and off, I've had my usual bouts with Amiga games. I'll usually start getting the games I'm familiar with (Pinball Dreams) and then grab some that I've never heard of or are just curious about (Captain Blood, Pushover).

The most recent of my Amiga experiences was with Dungeon Master II. I'd grabbed a pre-installed hardfile version from a rather prolific French emulation site and started it up.

About half an hour later, I decided that I really didn't like the game. But instead of just deleting it, I decided I should give it a proper send-off.

After exiting DM2 to the Workbench, I first thought of doing what I've always wanted to do, just as a practical joke - format the game disk. But then I decided that it'd be more satisfying to do it old-school style, so I opened the AmigaDOS shell and did it that way.

The window popped up, asking me if I wanted to format the disk in question. My finger hovered over the Proceed button. Then, on cue with a mental orchestra hit, the deed was done.

After having formatted the Dungeon Master II disk, I closed WinUAE and deleted the hardfile image. I figured, what's the point of having an empty 11-meg hardfile lying around if there's nothing on it anymore? I mean, I just formatted the damn thing.

Why did I format it, though? I could have just dragged the file into my recycle bin and deleted it right away. But I guess I just wanted to draw things out. Make a big deal out of it, you could say.

Compo Games (In General) Suck

RetroRemakes.com just finished their game creation competition. Over 70 individual entries were submitted this year. A fair number of them recieved immediate disqualification. What remains is the cream of the (bug-infested) crop.

I'm not joking when I say that the aforementioned crop is in dire need of pesticides.

I sampled seven games from the exhaustive list. Below, I shall present my Mini-Reviews of each of them.

BerserkerBots
Original: Berserk

I've never actually played Berserk before (I did, however, put some serious time into the sequel, Frenzy, on the Colecovision). But this edition of the game seemed interesting enough to warrant my time.

Rather than the original game's overhead maze configuration, BerserkerBots is a first-person-perspective game. One could call it a shooter. But in this game, shooting enemies is a tedious process. You have a pistol with unlimited ammo, that shoots blue fireballs at the bots. Thing is, though, the bots are practically invincible (unless you hit them in the right place several times). During the process of destroying said robots, they say things like "ELIMINATE THE HUMAN", "THE HUMAN MUST NOT ESCAPE", and "STOP SHOOTING ME". Somehow I imagine those lines were in the original game as well, but considering I never played it, I can't be certain. As far as this remake goes, though, it's just too tedious and dull.

One Step Beyond
Original: One Step Beyond

At first I thought this was made by the folks at Ishisoft, whose remake of Pushover was highly enjoyable. Turns out, it was a different team/person.

OSB and Pushover are both related, however, as they were promotional games made by Ocean. Both OSB and Pushover were designed to promote Quavers, a brand of potato chips manufactured in Britain. Though for us Americans, this is barely discernable in the game unless you read the copyright screen.

OSB stars a cartoon character named Colin Curly (whose gigantic mug is visible on the title screen). Colin happens to have been the mascot for Quavers at some point, hence his starring role. The objective is to make Colin jump on every single platform in the level, ending with the one that has the checkered flag on it. Good idea in theory. Unfortunately, the execution is marred by touchy controls, extremely tight time limits (especially on puzzle number 4, which is where I got stuck) and some major bugs in the game logic that resulted in me falling through some platforms.

Eventually, on my tenth try on puzzle number 4, the game assumed complete control of the system - stuck on the "you failed" screen, playing the same damn music track over and over, and refusing to let me close the game (not even open the task manager). Ouch. I guess if I want to play this, I'll find the original version - if it exists on the Net.

3D Snake
Original: Snake/Nibbles

You know, Nibbles isn't a bad game. But it shouldn't have made the shift into 3D - because the extra dimension really makes the game too easy. Part of the thrill of the original Nibbles is knowing that making the wrong turn could cause you to crash into yourself and die. But in 3D, there's way more room to maneuver. Add to this, the standard mechanics are still in place - perhaps the game could have been a little more challenging and interesting if the snake doubled its length upon picking up an item, rather than increasing a few inches each time. Right now, though, it's just too slow and easy. (Though a fair bit of challenge is added from wrestling with the game's awkward mouse-driven controls.)

Marioland+
Original: Super Mario Land

Silly physics, pretty crappy sound effects, and pretty much none of the soul that usually comes with a Mario game. It also crashed on me at some point, reducing replay value significantly (as restarting a game from scratch is the most tedious thing that I can think of).

Project Firestart
Original: Project Firestart

A first-person reimagining of what is considered by some to be the first true Survival Horror game. It's cheesy as hell, though, and there's no option to invert one's mouse.

Bombzuka
Original: Bombuzal/Kablooie

A nifty 3D remake of Kablooie, one of my favorite old SNES puzzle games. The controls might be a little awkward, but it looks pretty slick and is more worth your time than anything else on the list.

The Goonies: 20th Anniversary Edition
Original: Goonies (MSX)

The best of the bunch by a complete longshot. Slick graphics that actually look like the characters from the movie (albeit in silly cartoon caricatures), and some pretty good music that ups the nostalgia factor. No bugs or glitches to speak of. My only complaint is that it doesn't look that good on my LCD monitor - but that's pretty much nitpicking.

If you want to get these, head to Retro Remakes and get downloadin'. Just be kind to their servers, okay? They're going through a high-traffic phase, what with the competition being over.

Curse You, Department of Motor Vehicles!!

Here I was, planning to go with Mom to the DMV to get my ID card so I can get a bank account so I can get a debit card. And it figures that they're frickin' closed tomorrow! ARGH!

I planned to go last weekend as well, but Dad forgot his money and we couldn't do it then either. ARGH!

DRDTeam is down. ARGH!

For those of you who are just tuning in... ARGH!