www.toribash.com
Toribash is one of those ideas that just couldn't work on game store shelves, simply because it's so unique. It's a strategic, turn-based, physics-driven fighting game.
When the game starts, two crash dummies stand face to face with arms spread. The game is paused at this point. To manipulate your fighter, you select individual joints and muscles and toggle them between Relaxed, Held, Extending, and Contracting. It's very complicated at first but once you've figured out just which muscles are moving, you can do crazy stuff like kicking the other guy's head off.
The actual fighting part occurs once you've toggled the joints to whatever setting. Pressing SPACE will advance the game by ten frames, allowing the physics engine to work its magic, the muscles to move as you ordered them to, and any kind of damage to be done.
Toribash is certainly not for everyone. It's certainly a fun little physics toy to goof around with. And if you don't feel like learning the ropes (or watching the tutorial movies), you can always go to YouTube and search for toribash to see some of the moves that others have pulled off.
Aug 31, 2006
Aug 30, 2006
Best Used In Moderation
Being a moderator is nowhere near as easy as it looks. Most people without experience would probably think that the job consists entirely of pushing the Lock, Delete, or Ban buttons when deemed appropriate. Though I've determined that it's far more of an art form than most would think - I don't think it's that close to the duties of a police officer (as moderation deals more in solving social issues than thinking and acting quickly to stop conflicts), but in some ways it does remind me of some episodes of Cops.
The most offensive posts are usually the easiest ones for a moderator to take action on - after all, somebody posting pr0n would probably not have any reason to do so other than to anger the general populace. So that Delete button is going to get pressed without remorse.
On the other hand, you've got your minor disputes - flamewars, petty arguments, people generally just being idiots. It's hard for me to make a decision about when to act and how, especially when morals come into question (as everybody's morals are different) - and then there's the issue of reputation, image, and credibility.
Making a mistake as a moderator could mean more than losing one's position. It has a negative effect on the populace's reactions to you ("Oh look, it's that jerk that banned me from the IRC channel") and it can make you a lot of enemies indirectly as well ("Why the $#%! did you ban my friend").
Add to this the fact that us moderators usually have lots going on in our lives as well. Despite the fact that I (among others) check the forums frequently, there's no way I can keep a constant watch over it all. Nor do I have the patience to read entire threads over and over to make sure everything's in context. I can't do this by myself. Even I can't push myself that hard.
My conscience is clear so far, though. I can't beat myself up about anything yet (though sometimes I really would like to).
The most offensive posts are usually the easiest ones for a moderator to take action on - after all, somebody posting pr0n would probably not have any reason to do so other than to anger the general populace. So that Delete button is going to get pressed without remorse.
On the other hand, you've got your minor disputes - flamewars, petty arguments, people generally just being idiots. It's hard for me to make a decision about when to act and how, especially when morals come into question (as everybody's morals are different) - and then there's the issue of reputation, image, and credibility.
Making a mistake as a moderator could mean more than losing one's position. It has a negative effect on the populace's reactions to you ("Oh look, it's that jerk that banned me from the IRC channel") and it can make you a lot of enemies indirectly as well ("Why the $#%! did you ban my friend").
Add to this the fact that us moderators usually have lots going on in our lives as well. Despite the fact that I (among others) check the forums frequently, there's no way I can keep a constant watch over it all. Nor do I have the patience to read entire threads over and over to make sure everything's in context. I can't do this by myself. Even I can't push myself that hard.
My conscience is clear so far, though. I can't beat myself up about anything yet (though sometimes I really would like to).
Aug 29, 2006
The Antics of My Cat Scruffy
Life imitates art? Or art imitates life?
Sorry. I just read that strip today and couldn't stop myself from posting it.
But on the subject of cats, I've encountered some fairly interesting cat-related stuff in my travels, including Stuff On My Cat (I really want to buy their book), the Infinite Cat Project, among others.
It only makes me wish I had a cat. But I'll get one someday, I swear it!
And I'll call him something like Thrakhath (Wing Commander), or Vash ("I always had my suspicions that you were no mere mortal, but I never imagined you were actually...a cat.").
Sorry. I just read that strip today and couldn't stop myself from posting it.
But on the subject of cats, I've encountered some fairly interesting cat-related stuff in my travels, including Stuff On My Cat (I really want to buy their book), the Infinite Cat Project, among others.
It only makes me wish I had a cat. But I'll get one someday, I swear it!
And I'll call him something like Thrakhath (Wing Commander), or Vash ("I always had my suspicions that you were no mere mortal, but I never imagined you were actually...a cat.").
Aug 28, 2006
Questing, Fantasies, and Big Hairy Monsters
Yesterday I picked up yet more games. (I know, I buy too many. I should just play the ones I've got!)
First title was Dragon Quest VIII, which I found for the ultimate bargain price of $20 at Fred Meyer. I'm having quite a lot of fun with it so far, though it's clear that the game is sticking to its roots - some of the game mechanics are quite archaic (such as being unable to resurrect characters unless you visit churches), but others are new and interesting (the Psyche Up system).
DQ8 still comes with the demo for Final Fantasy XII, which was part of what sold me on the game. While this demo is very short and only offers about half an hour of playtime, it certainly shows how different the battle system is. It's a change for the better, I think.
I also discovered the other day that Shadow of the Colossus is now a Greatest Hits game, so I picked it up for another $20. It's very confusing so far - I decided to quit in the middle of fighting the first colossus because it was very difficult to control my character, and the frame rate wasn't helping much (bordering on Perfect Dark-esque lows).
I do think I got my money's worth, though.
First title was Dragon Quest VIII, which I found for the ultimate bargain price of $20 at Fred Meyer. I'm having quite a lot of fun with it so far, though it's clear that the game is sticking to its roots - some of the game mechanics are quite archaic (such as being unable to resurrect characters unless you visit churches), but others are new and interesting (the Psyche Up system).
DQ8 still comes with the demo for Final Fantasy XII, which was part of what sold me on the game. While this demo is very short and only offers about half an hour of playtime, it certainly shows how different the battle system is. It's a change for the better, I think.
I also discovered the other day that Shadow of the Colossus is now a Greatest Hits game, so I picked it up for another $20. It's very confusing so far - I decided to quit in the middle of fighting the first colossus because it was very difficult to control my character, and the frame rate wasn't helping much (bordering on Perfect Dark-esque lows).
I do think I got my money's worth, though.
Aug 26, 2006
Weasel Is A Trend Whore, Part Two (Hundred?)
Blatant rip-off from Darren's "Blawge":
1) List 20 things that you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.
4) No order.
1. I've known you pretty much since birth. During that whole time, I've both loved and hated you; gradually shifting towards love every year. And now that you've gone, I miss you like crazy. I miss the days of Covert Ops (when we'd sneak into the computer room and do things we weren't supposed to), the multiplayer games, the ability to just turn around and talk to you whenever I had something on my mind. Now that you're on your own, I can't help but worry. Life just doesn't seem to be going your way, from what I've been hearing.
2. I met you in grade school. You proved to be an excellent friend, always willing to hear what I had to say. I didn't see you again for five years afterwards, when I met you completely by chance at the high school. I wish I knew how to contact you again these days, because I want to see how much you've changed since your "barbie" phase in freshman year.
3. You were usually a kind person (if not a little obscene sometimes), and you got me into anime for the first time when you brought over all those Evangelion tapes. I only regret not speaking to you more often, but then, with both our schedules pretty much filled to the brim, I didn't really have much opportunity.
4. During my time in Colorado Springs, you were the first real friend that I had. Sure, sometimes I'd try to avoid you because I didn't want to waste a lot of time, but there was never a dull moment when you were around. Not to mention you were usually available for a dogfight with our Palm Pilots during science class (until the teacher seperated us).
5. I met you in my Japanese class. You were the most serious student in the entire room, and I admired you a lot. The teacher's "beso-boru" exams were almost always won thanks to your efforts (and the fact that you absolutely refused to pick anything other than a "home run" question). I thought you were really pretty, but I would never actually say that to your face because I was afraid of what would happen if I did (probably some kind of cosmic imbalance).
6. You're a great worker and very handy to have around when the kitchen is on crunch time, but sometimes you really bother me. The fact that you could potentially be doing more work instead of going outside and taking a smoke break. How you refuse to accept any of my methods (like putting glasses and cups into a rack instead of just piling them onto the carts and risking having one fall off and shatter). But the one thing I hate the most is how I stop and rest for five seconds, or just start doing something and you approach me and tell me to go do something else. I have my priorities and every single one of them is just as important as whatever you're wanting me to do. You might have worked here for over a year by now, but that is no reason to act superior to me. We're as good as equals, and I expect to at least be treated that way. Because I'm sure as hell not "the new guy" anymore.
Yeah, only six, but I don't know many people that I have stuff to say about.
1) List 20 things that you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.
4) No order.
1. I've known you pretty much since birth. During that whole time, I've both loved and hated you; gradually shifting towards love every year. And now that you've gone, I miss you like crazy. I miss the days of Covert Ops (when we'd sneak into the computer room and do things we weren't supposed to), the multiplayer games, the ability to just turn around and talk to you whenever I had something on my mind. Now that you're on your own, I can't help but worry. Life just doesn't seem to be going your way, from what I've been hearing.
2. I met you in grade school. You proved to be an excellent friend, always willing to hear what I had to say. I didn't see you again for five years afterwards, when I met you completely by chance at the high school. I wish I knew how to contact you again these days, because I want to see how much you've changed since your "barbie" phase in freshman year.
3. You were usually a kind person (if not a little obscene sometimes), and you got me into anime for the first time when you brought over all those Evangelion tapes. I only regret not speaking to you more often, but then, with both our schedules pretty much filled to the brim, I didn't really have much opportunity.
4. During my time in Colorado Springs, you were the first real friend that I had. Sure, sometimes I'd try to avoid you because I didn't want to waste a lot of time, but there was never a dull moment when you were around. Not to mention you were usually available for a dogfight with our Palm Pilots during science class (until the teacher seperated us).
5. I met you in my Japanese class. You were the most serious student in the entire room, and I admired you a lot. The teacher's "beso-boru" exams were almost always won thanks to your efforts (and the fact that you absolutely refused to pick anything other than a "home run" question). I thought you were really pretty, but I would never actually say that to your face because I was afraid of what would happen if I did (probably some kind of cosmic imbalance).
6. You're a great worker and very handy to have around when the kitchen is on crunch time, but sometimes you really bother me. The fact that you could potentially be doing more work instead of going outside and taking a smoke break. How you refuse to accept any of my methods (like putting glasses and cups into a rack instead of just piling them onto the carts and risking having one fall off and shatter). But the one thing I hate the most is how I stop and rest for five seconds, or just start doing something and you approach me and tell me to go do something else. I have my priorities and every single one of them is just as important as whatever you're wanting me to do. You might have worked here for over a year by now, but that is no reason to act superior to me. We're as good as equals, and I expect to at least be treated that way. Because I'm sure as hell not "the new guy" anymore.
Yeah, only six, but I don't know many people that I have stuff to say about.
Aug 24, 2006
That's Not One Of The 99 Ways I Rip You Off!
"Let's head over to the datum center and see where the problem is!"
"Datum sounds good."
Internet throttling issues have come to an end. I can now download at the usual absurdly high speeds. To celebrate, I'm now downloading both the WarRock open beta (fun little Battlefield 2 clone, for free) and FEAR Combat (which I hear is quite fun).
I get paid tomorrow. I won't have enough to get my next Major Target of Opportunity, but I ought to have at least enough to get a couple new games...or my Minor Target of Opportunity, the Logitech G15 Gaming Keyboard (a keyboard so awesome, it has backlit keys, an LCD screen, and two built-in USB ports).
Aug 23, 2006
Bastard ____ From Hell
I have no clue why I haven't linked this from here yet, but I've been reading a lot of Bastard Operator from Hell lately. It's quite a lengthy read (I've been at it since last week and I'm still only as far as the 1997 vintage) but it's pretty funny to see all the stuff the titular (huhuhuh, you said "titular") Bastard ends up doing to secure his position on staff. He tends to go through a lot of bosses. I also find his attitude towards the corporate "bean-counters" rather amusing, treating them like toys (but never to their faces). Stuff like "lights-out beancounter fire exit pinball".
I've been inspired by this series of classics to see what ideas I can come up with for my own version, the Bastard Forum Admin From Hell, wherein a disgruntled forum administrator decides to take action against those he feels are unworthy (which is pretty much everybody, including the guy that pays for the site's domain name every month).
Maybe if I'm inspired enough, I'll post up an article here.
I've been inspired by this series of classics to see what ideas I can come up with for my own version, the Bastard Forum Admin From Hell, wherein a disgruntled forum administrator decides to take action against those he feels are unworthy (which is pretty much everybody, including the guy that pays for the site's domain name every month).
Maybe if I'm inspired enough, I'll post up an article here.
Aug 22, 2006
Flashing Numbers
World of Warcraft patch day today. The big new thing was cross-server PVP, but since I don't play PVP at all, that didn't really affect me. So I just took Ratix (currently level 12, human rogue) and hunted for a while.
I decided to check out the new interface options and discovered the combat text options. I turned every single checkbox on, and started killing wolves and bears outside Stormwind.
The moment I hit the attack button, the message "Entering Combat" flashed above my head. Off to a good start - that's a feature that's bound to come in handy (especially when I get ambushed by a bear that just spawned next to me). The usual array of flashing numbers signifying how little/much damage I did. Dodges, parries, status effects, low health warnings. Everything I could possibly want.
And to think, I was getting ready to install a user-interface mod that claimed to have such features - thanks to Blizzard, I needn't worry about potential conflicts when newer patches arrive.
And my game experience post-patch (roughly five hours after the servers finally came up) was quite nice. I guess everybody in my realm was in bed, because I had little lag, and absolutely no disconnects. Which is quite surprising considering that my ISP is apparently throttling me down (preventing me from downloading anything faster than a brisk 40 k/sec - when the server I'm downloading from is supposed to be running at around 300 k/sec, because I frickin' paid $20 to get that kind of speed. Now I might as well be using the public wait-in-line-for-an-hour servers.
Verizon, when/if I get my own house and the ability to choose an ISP for broadband, you are most certainly NOT going to be my choice.
I decided to check out the new interface options and discovered the combat text options. I turned every single checkbox on, and started killing wolves and bears outside Stormwind.
The moment I hit the attack button, the message "Entering Combat" flashed above my head. Off to a good start - that's a feature that's bound to come in handy (especially when I get ambushed by a bear that just spawned next to me). The usual array of flashing numbers signifying how little/much damage I did. Dodges, parries, status effects, low health warnings. Everything I could possibly want.
And to think, I was getting ready to install a user-interface mod that claimed to have such features - thanks to Blizzard, I needn't worry about potential conflicts when newer patches arrive.
And my game experience post-patch (roughly five hours after the servers finally came up) was quite nice. I guess everybody in my realm was in bed, because I had little lag, and absolutely no disconnects. Which is quite surprising considering that my ISP is apparently throttling me down (preventing me from downloading anything faster than a brisk 40 k/sec - when the server I'm downloading from is supposed to be running at around 300 k/sec, because I frickin' paid $20 to get that kind of speed. Now I might as well be using the public wait-in-line-for-an-hour servers.
Verizon, when/if I get my own house and the ability to choose an ISP for broadband, you are most certainly NOT going to be my choice.
Aug 21, 2006
Harumph
15. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it, who would it be?
Only one!? So not fair. Xak's brother, for what he said about Michaela in one of his blog entries.
--From my sister-in-law's Open Diary
I'm flattered that you actually read this thing, but seriously, it was a joke. One of my (admittedly poor) attempts at humor. If you still want to punch me in the nose over it, go ahead; but I would appreciate it if you reconsidered. Because getting punched in the nose hurts. It does. Really.
Aug 19, 2006
QuickBlog: Phoenix Wright Orchestra Soundtrack
http://ds.qj.net/Phoenix-Wright-Orchestrated-Soundtrack-Soon-/pg/49/aid/62357
Apparently Capcom plans to release an orchestrated version of the soundtrack for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. The reason why I bring it up is not just because it's Phoenix Wright (dammit), or that the soundtrack is good - but because the cover art is quite amusing. I mean, look at the Prosecution version of the cover. You feel pretty sorry for poor Detective Gumshoe getting bullwhipped because he's not playing his triangle well enough. (And then the Defense version has Phoenix getting pushed around by Maya's trombone.)
Apparently Capcom plans to release an orchestrated version of the soundtrack for Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. The reason why I bring it up is not just because it's Phoenix Wright (dammit), or that the soundtrack is good - but because the cover art is quite amusing. I mean, look at the Prosecution version of the cover. You feel pretty sorry for poor Detective Gumshoe getting bullwhipped because he's not playing his triangle well enough. (And then the Defense version has Phoenix getting pushed around by Maya's trombone.)
This Is A Very Bad Omen
"Look! A three-headed monkey!"
"AAH! Then the prophecies were true!!" *looks*
Yesterday was a bit of a rough night as far as work was concerned. I can't count the number of major errors that were made, but the highlights (or low-lights, rather) of the night mainly consisted of the following:
1. Weasel breaks a glass after almost tripping on the mats in front of the dishwasher. (Well, not quite broken - but an almost undetectable chip was broken off the rim, rendering it unsafe for usage by the residents.)
2. A waitress spills a cup of coffee over her apron and shirt.
3. Rose stumbles over the mats in front of the dishwasher and damn near breaks a plate.
4. Larry accidentally bumps into a caregiver.
5. Weasel's left foot is trod upon...twice. By the same person.
6. Weasel finds himself standing directly in the path of the dessert cart. A resident shouts at him, "Move outta the way so I can get some pie!"
7. Two medical aides collide with each other in the hallways.
I figured something bad had to have happened on August 18th several years ago, so when I got home, I looked it up on Wikipedia.
As it turns out: on August 18th, 1983, Hurricane Alicia hit Texas from the Gulf of Mexico, killing 22 people and causing nearly one billion dollars of property damage.
That probably doesn't explain all the faults - Larry still chalks it up to "one of those days" - but something tells me that maybe the 18th of August is just a historically bad day.
Aug 17, 2006
Shedding Tears For A Legend
Tony Jay, the instantly recognizable voice behind such great characters as Virgil from Mighty Max, Jarlesburg from Bruno the Kid, and the Elder God from the Legacy of Kain series ("Where do you think you're going, little soul?"), is dead. He was a legend among legends - arguably more awesome than Cam Clarke (whom I admitted to being a fanboy of a few posts back).
My condolences go to Mr. Jay's family.
My condolences go to Mr. Jay's family.
Yawn, Hup, Stretch, And So Forth
Good morning everybody.
My recent silence is owed this time to my newfound interest in the Sega Dreamcast. Having purchased it back in 2000 (or was it 2001?), the most enjoyment I ever got out of it was Jet Grind Radio and Shenmue (wherein Ryo Hazuki spends two weeks trying to find Charlie, before eventually giving up and playing darts for eternity). Thing is, most of the games my and my brother bought for it ended up sucking. A lot.
Now, though, I've discovered the fact that the Dreamcast has pretty much zero copy protection and region lockout - meaning I can play homebrew games, Japanese games (like Ikaruga), and of course, copied domestic US games.
I haven't got much so far - Resident Evil 3 (not much of an improvement over the PS1 version), Marvel VS Capcom 2 (haven't really played it much), Cannon Spike (very short but it's fun to beat bosses by punching them repeatedly instead of going the "proper" route and launching rockets at them), Omikron (ehh...didn't feel like sitting through the intro), and the unreleased Dreamcast version of Half-Life.
Of course my PC isn't neglected either, with the recent acquisition of Max Payne 2 and Knights of the Old Republic (though I haven't forgotten about WoW either).
I'm still putting thought into getting an XBox 360, but I've decided that I'm probably going to wait until some more must-haves show up for it. Besides...I bet that thing uses about as much power as my PC does.
My recent silence is owed this time to my newfound interest in the Sega Dreamcast. Having purchased it back in 2000 (or was it 2001?), the most enjoyment I ever got out of it was Jet Grind Radio and Shenmue (wherein Ryo Hazuki spends two weeks trying to find Charlie, before eventually giving up and playing darts for eternity). Thing is, most of the games my and my brother bought for it ended up sucking. A lot.
Now, though, I've discovered the fact that the Dreamcast has pretty much zero copy protection and region lockout - meaning I can play homebrew games, Japanese games (like Ikaruga), and of course, copied domestic US games.
I haven't got much so far - Resident Evil 3 (not much of an improvement over the PS1 version), Marvel VS Capcom 2 (haven't really played it much), Cannon Spike (very short but it's fun to beat bosses by punching them repeatedly instead of going the "proper" route and launching rockets at them), Omikron (ehh...didn't feel like sitting through the intro), and the unreleased Dreamcast version of Half-Life.
Of course my PC isn't neglected either, with the recent acquisition of Max Payne 2 and Knights of the Old Republic (though I haven't forgotten about WoW either).
I'm still putting thought into getting an XBox 360, but I've decided that I'm probably going to wait until some more must-haves show up for it. Besides...I bet that thing uses about as much power as my PC does.
Aug 14, 2006
Aug 13, 2006
Wow
Been playing World of Warcraft for a few days now. Got two characters, both on the Hyjal server:
Ratix - level 11 Human Rogue
Lynea - Level 6 Human Warlock
And after doing some calculations with Mom, as well as searching for a bunch of EB Games receipts, I figured out that I'm pretty much out of debt on my computer, with $73 to spare (after my latest paycheck). Sooner than I thought. Thing is, what should I save up for now? Another copy of Guitar Hero, so me and my bro can do some Dueling Guitars action? An XBox 360? Buy a Gamecube because I'm sick of waiting for the Wii to be able to play Smash Bros and Chibi-Robo and Pikmin and MGS Twin Snakes and Resident Evil and Luigi's Mansion and Metroid Prime and Twilight Princess and Wind Waker and...
...well, you get the point. I'm missing a hell of a lot because I don't have my Gamecube.
But I was kinda joking about getting the XBox 360. I'm going to at least wait until Gears of War comes out and see how that plays, because that's the one 360 title that really interests me at this point (outside of Dead Rising, Saint's Row, and the new Brothers in Arms). Or maybe Ninety-Nine Nights...I heard that one's going to be pretty good.
Ratix - level 11 Human Rogue
Lynea - Level 6 Human Warlock
And after doing some calculations with Mom, as well as searching for a bunch of EB Games receipts, I figured out that I'm pretty much out of debt on my computer, with $73 to spare (after my latest paycheck). Sooner than I thought. Thing is, what should I save up for now? Another copy of Guitar Hero, so me and my bro can do some Dueling Guitars action? An XBox 360? Buy a Gamecube because I'm sick of waiting for the Wii to be able to play Smash Bros and Chibi-Robo and Pikmin and MGS Twin Snakes and Resident Evil and Luigi's Mansion and Metroid Prime and Twilight Princess and Wind Waker and...
...well, you get the point. I'm missing a hell of a lot because I don't have my Gamecube.
But I was kinda joking about getting the XBox 360. I'm going to at least wait until Gears of War comes out and see how that plays, because that's the one 360 title that really interests me at this point (outside of Dead Rising, Saint's Row, and the new Brothers in Arms). Or maybe Ninety-Nine Nights...I heard that one's going to be pretty good.
Aug 10, 2006
Objection!
Your words are as empty as your soul!
And the rebuttal from Mr. Manfred von Karma:
What is a man?!
Yes, I'm having too much fun creating objections.
And the rebuttal from Mr. Manfred von Karma:
What is a man?!
Yes, I'm having too much fun creating objections.
Aug 9, 2006
On Sucky Demos
Yesterday was a day of high importance to me. Ubisoft had released a gigantic demo for their upcoming game, Dark Messiah of Might and Magic. This thing weighed in at around 1.5 gigabytes in its installer format. Needless to say, I was expecting a lot.
I fired up the demo and was promptly tossed into a tutorial mission. No big deal. You gotta learn this stuff sometime. But then I heard the tutorial guy's voice acting. Ugh. I've heard better acting in House of the Dead 2. ("At last. You've come. ...Friends.")
The game's reliance on physics seems paramount to anything that uses the Source engine these days, though I admit it was a lot more fun goofing around with crates and barrels in this game than it ever was in HL2 or Oblivion. Picking up barrels and heaving them at orcs was a moment that I enjoyed and won't soon forget.
Combat...was very iffy. Attacking and blocking were very cumbersome tasks, even when my controls were set up the exact same way as Oblivion's. The new ability to kick people is handy for knocking people into spiked walls and over ledges, but overall combat seems random and not very balanced (for example: I had a difficult time breaking through an enemy's block, even using power-attacks like the tutorial suggested - yet when I blocked, the enemy always did damage, from regular attacks).
Though probably the least enjoyable part of the demo was the fact that it barely lasted fifteen minutes (including the tutorial). Just as it was getting to be enjoyable, the level ended abruptly and spat me out at a "Pre-Order Now!" screen.
Like hell am I going to pre-order a game based on that experience.
Before I promptly erased all evidence of ever having had this game in my possession, I had a look at the data files.
Nearly a gigabyte of high-res textures. Most of which probably weren't even used in the demo. That's irresponsible demo-making. I'm surprised they didn't include the whole damn game in this demo - would have made it more worth the download, in any case.
I fired up the demo and was promptly tossed into a tutorial mission. No big deal. You gotta learn this stuff sometime. But then I heard the tutorial guy's voice acting. Ugh. I've heard better acting in House of the Dead 2. ("At last. You've come. ...Friends.")
The game's reliance on physics seems paramount to anything that uses the Source engine these days, though I admit it was a lot more fun goofing around with crates and barrels in this game than it ever was in HL2 or Oblivion. Picking up barrels and heaving them at orcs was a moment that I enjoyed and won't soon forget.
Combat...was very iffy. Attacking and blocking were very cumbersome tasks, even when my controls were set up the exact same way as Oblivion's. The new ability to kick people is handy for knocking people into spiked walls and over ledges, but overall combat seems random and not very balanced (for example: I had a difficult time breaking through an enemy's block, even using power-attacks like the tutorial suggested - yet when I blocked, the enemy always did damage, from regular attacks).
Though probably the least enjoyable part of the demo was the fact that it barely lasted fifteen minutes (including the tutorial). Just as it was getting to be enjoyable, the level ended abruptly and spat me out at a "Pre-Order Now!" screen.
Like hell am I going to pre-order a game based on that experience.
Before I promptly erased all evidence of ever having had this game in my possession, I had a look at the data files.
Nearly a gigabyte of high-res textures. Most of which probably weren't even used in the demo. That's irresponsible demo-making. I'm surprised they didn't include the whole damn game in this demo - would have made it more worth the download, in any case.
Aug 7, 2006
Yeah, I Missed It, So What
Sunday's update was absent because I was busy doing other things. Things like, playing Guitar Hero. Remembering why I haven't touched Killswitch in a while. Wishing Deus Ex had better support for my video card(s). And playing a neat little shooter game called HyperWars.
I also did some work on my various Doom mods (well, actually just one of them, and I refuse to mention which one). I've been working closely with my buddy Marty, and the results so far are shaping up to be at least pretty darn good.
Am I getting bored with Oblivion at last? Not bloody likely. I keep finding more and more quests to embark upon, more mods to screw around with. Though sadly, I haven't been able to find any more good glitches.
Except one, which I haven't yet managed to reproduce.
I was wandering around Anvil once using Corwin (my "residual self-image" mage guy). I was originally going to the Mages' Guild to pick up the recommendation quest, but I figured I'd spend some time working on my spellcasting. So I went through my usual training program - cast Major Life Detection, rest, cast Starlight, rest some more, and then summon Scamps as long as I can.
My Scamp-summoning must have angered somebody in town, because I noticed that a guard was running at top speed towards one of the city's various alleyways. I decided to follow him, and I discovered that he had just randomly murdered one of the various townsfolk. I spoke to him and he just acted like a guard. I searched the dead guy's body, and all he had on him was his clothes and gold. This was a completely random occurance.
And I still haven't managed to figure out why it happened, or better yet, how I can get it to happen again. If this ability is controllable, I could command the guards to go on killing sprees while completely ignoring me (much like you can get Beren to follow you around in Ultima 8, to the point where he doesn't give a crap if you kill or steal anymore).
I also did some work on my various Doom mods (well, actually just one of them, and I refuse to mention which one). I've been working closely with my buddy Marty, and the results so far are shaping up to be at least pretty darn good.
Am I getting bored with Oblivion at last? Not bloody likely. I keep finding more and more quests to embark upon, more mods to screw around with. Though sadly, I haven't been able to find any more good glitches.
Except one, which I haven't yet managed to reproduce.
I was wandering around Anvil once using Corwin (my "residual self-image" mage guy). I was originally going to the Mages' Guild to pick up the recommendation quest, but I figured I'd spend some time working on my spellcasting. So I went through my usual training program - cast Major Life Detection, rest, cast Starlight, rest some more, and then summon Scamps as long as I can.
My Scamp-summoning must have angered somebody in town, because I noticed that a guard was running at top speed towards one of the city's various alleyways. I decided to follow him, and I discovered that he had just randomly murdered one of the various townsfolk. I spoke to him and he just acted like a guard. I searched the dead guy's body, and all he had on him was his clothes and gold. This was a completely random occurance.
And I still haven't managed to figure out why it happened, or better yet, how I can get it to happen again. If this ability is controllable, I could command the guards to go on killing sprees while completely ignoring me (much like you can get Beren to follow you around in Ultima 8, to the point where he doesn't give a crap if you kill or steal anymore).
Aug 4, 2006
Things To Do In Tamriel When You're Dead
Or, my ongoing experimentation into screwing with Oblivion using all manner of crazy tricks and cheats.
My last few experiments have proven relatively fruitless. Today, I will be showing a visual demonstration of the Rat Meat falling glitch, using my level 15 tank, Bereznik.
Note that this is running on a slightly modified version of Oblivion. I have not installed any mods that change the game's physics - all I did was install a custom race mod (Mystic Elf by Ren), a new hud (using wz_Builder and the Globular hud pack) and a new weapon (Fred the Warhammer from the Sentient Weapons packs). All of this can be downloaded from TESSource and PlanetElderScrolls, though you shouldn't need it to reproduce these effects.
For my experimental venue, I used the Elder Council Chambers in the Imperial City Palace (which should be accessible to anybody at any time - I imagine I arrived sometime around three in the morning). The purpose of this experiment is to observe the effects of using rat meat and jumping from a tall ledge or cliff.
So here we are in the Elder Council Chamber Observation Area.
Looks like a particularly harmless place, doesn't it? Let's just get this over wi---whoa...
Long drop. Hey, all the better for our test.
So our willing volunteer, Bereznik, is tasked with tiring himself out completely. Given his endurance levels, this isn't any sort of trivial task. I can't just knock him out with the rat meat alone. Bereznik has to put some effort into it!
First things first: jump the barrier. This will require a bit of balance and precision in order not to fall off prematurely.
Now we begin power-attacking the railings.
We must be careful, however, not to get ourselves stuck within somehow:
Once Bereznik's stamina has been sufficiently depleted, I begin the second stage of the test. I open the inventory window and immediately shove 120 Rat Meats down his throat. (If you don't have the rat meats to attempt this yourself: you can easily summon them through the console with the command player.additem 0003368F 120. This obviously only works on the PC version.)
And now, the results of the test, in YouTube-O-Vision...
Success? Well, the only reason Bereznik didn't die is because he has something around 300 friggin' hit points. And if I'd given him a chance to rest before the test, he probably would have had a hell of a lot more (given that he's about to level up).
My last few experiments have proven relatively fruitless. Today, I will be showing a visual demonstration of the Rat Meat falling glitch, using my level 15 tank, Bereznik.
Note that this is running on a slightly modified version of Oblivion. I have not installed any mods that change the game's physics - all I did was install a custom race mod (Mystic Elf by Ren), a new hud (using wz_Builder and the Globular hud pack) and a new weapon (Fred the Warhammer from the Sentient Weapons packs). All of this can be downloaded from TESSource and PlanetElderScrolls, though you shouldn't need it to reproduce these effects.
For my experimental venue, I used the Elder Council Chambers in the Imperial City Palace (which should be accessible to anybody at any time - I imagine I arrived sometime around three in the morning). The purpose of this experiment is to observe the effects of using rat meat and jumping from a tall ledge or cliff.
So here we are in the Elder Council Chamber Observation Area.
Looks like a particularly harmless place, doesn't it? Let's just get this over wi---whoa...
Long drop. Hey, all the better for our test.
So our willing volunteer, Bereznik, is tasked with tiring himself out completely. Given his endurance levels, this isn't any sort of trivial task. I can't just knock him out with the rat meat alone. Bereznik has to put some effort into it!
First things first: jump the barrier. This will require a bit of balance and precision in order not to fall off prematurely.
Now we begin power-attacking the railings.
We must be careful, however, not to get ourselves stuck within somehow:
Once Bereznik's stamina has been sufficiently depleted, I begin the second stage of the test. I open the inventory window and immediately shove 120 Rat Meats down his throat. (If you don't have the rat meats to attempt this yourself: you can easily summon them through the console with the command player.additem 0003368F 120. This obviously only works on the PC version.)
And now, the results of the test, in YouTube-O-Vision...
Success? Well, the only reason Bereznik didn't die is because he has something around 300 friggin' hit points. And if I'd given him a chance to rest before the test, he probably would have had a hell of a lot more (given that he's about to level up).
You No Mess With...?
Upon beating Prey today (too short and easy, but a good game overall), I made a shocking discovery. While two of the main characters are actually voiced by Native Americans, the third is not. In fact, upon looking up his name in IMDB, I discovered why the name "John Galt" sounded so familiar.
He voiced Lo Wang in Shadow Warrior.
Now there's something that brings my respect for him a little higher. Having originally made his computer game debut by portraying an Asian stereotype that makes jokes about his groin, he now plays the infinitely more respectable role of Tommy's grandfather. And he was arguably the coolest character in the game (Art Bell doesn't count).
And speaking of respectable voice actors: it doesn't affect my opinion at all to know that Cam Clarke is gay. He's still a very awesome person. And who else could have made a single line on a single character more memorable?
"Hi, friend," says Tarnesh in Baldur's Gate shortly before killing me. Normally I wouldn't remember such a thing, but the very fact that it's Liquid Snake that's doing the talking has brought this memory up to the level of such hits as my brother pulling a basket of laundry on top of himself at age 2, or what happens when you suck on a power cord and try to plug it back in (which I figured out pretty quick).
He voiced Lo Wang in Shadow Warrior.
Now there's something that brings my respect for him a little higher. Having originally made his computer game debut by portraying an Asian stereotype that makes jokes about his groin, he now plays the infinitely more respectable role of Tommy's grandfather. And he was arguably the coolest character in the game (Art Bell doesn't count).
And speaking of respectable voice actors: it doesn't affect my opinion at all to know that Cam Clarke is gay. He's still a very awesome person. And who else could have made a single line on a single character more memorable?
"Hi, friend," says Tarnesh in Baldur's Gate shortly before killing me. Normally I wouldn't remember such a thing, but the very fact that it's Liquid Snake that's doing the talking has brought this memory up to the level of such hits as my brother pulling a basket of laundry on top of himself at age 2, or what happens when you suck on a power cord and try to plug it back in (which I figured out pretty quick).
Aug 3, 2006
Man, It's Dark In Here
Guess 3D Realms can't get enough of poking fun at id Software.
Duke Nukem 3D had a secret area where you could find a dead Doomguy. Looking at him, Duke would say, "That's one Doomed space marine."
And now there's Prey. Upon entering the first really really dark room in the game, Tommy remarks, "Man, it's dark in here. I'm doomed." Heh, I bet he wishes he could duct-tape a flashlight onto his wrench.
My only real complaint here is that that's the one good line Tommy has. The rest of his dialogue involves him spouting swear words at high velocities ("This'll rock some shit!") or generally just being a jerk. Never have I been so ashamed to control a video game character - not since I made the mistake of playing as Athena Asamiya in KoF '98.
So far, the only truly enjoyable video game personality I've seen is Serious Sam. "Look at me! I'm a big, dumb barbarian! I have a god called Chrom! Beware my axe! ...magic axe? What kind of pansy weapon is that?!" It depresses me that he doesn't get as many lines in Serious Sam 2, since he's become overshadowed byCortana Netricsa.
Have you ever played a story-based game, and had to give up at some point and put it on the shelf for a while because you're stuck? It feels like you're putting the characters in stasis. Like you're storing them away in some great underground vault, exactly the way you left them. Like if you've saved right before a tense conflict. The hero stands with his sword drawn, while his antagonist stands facing him with arms crossed. They stay that way for eternity (or until you decide to load the game again).
And on that note...what about deleting or losing saved games? Surely the characters in that game don't feel too good about that. Deleting a saved game is equivalent to destroying the world and then creating it again right afterwards. The characters would go through deja vu, and everybody else would be none the wiser. Nobody really knows that the world was destroyed and reconstructed.
It's especially guilt-inducing if you do it on a game like The Sims, Nintendogs, or Animal Crossing. To think, all your nice people just suddenly disappear - or if they haven't disappeared, then they have lost all memory that you ever existed. They speak to you as if you haven't seen them before, yet you know more about them than the average person would upon seeing them for the first time.
This is why it's hard for me to restart a game after losing or deleting a saved game. I know exactly what happens. The shock is gone. Playing to the point where my game was lost becomes less of a joy and more of a chore. I tend to rush through things, and in the case of the Final Fantasy series, I end up getting stuck somewhere without a place to gain experience or heal or buy weapons.
It's not quite so bad in Oblivion, though. (I swear I won't shut up about this.)
And speaking of shutting up...Phoenix Wright, dammit!
Duke Nukem 3D had a secret area where you could find a dead Doomguy. Looking at him, Duke would say, "That's one Doomed space marine."
And now there's Prey. Upon entering the first really really dark room in the game, Tommy remarks, "Man, it's dark in here. I'm doomed." Heh, I bet he wishes he could duct-tape a flashlight onto his wrench.
My only real complaint here is that that's the one good line Tommy has. The rest of his dialogue involves him spouting swear words at high velocities ("This'll rock some shit!") or generally just being a jerk. Never have I been so ashamed to control a video game character - not since I made the mistake of playing as Athena Asamiya in KoF '98.
So far, the only truly enjoyable video game personality I've seen is Serious Sam. "Look at me! I'm a big, dumb barbarian! I have a god called Chrom! Beware my axe! ...magic axe? What kind of pansy weapon is that?!" It depresses me that he doesn't get as many lines in Serious Sam 2, since he's become overshadowed by
Have you ever played a story-based game, and had to give up at some point and put it on the shelf for a while because you're stuck? It feels like you're putting the characters in stasis. Like you're storing them away in some great underground vault, exactly the way you left them. Like if you've saved right before a tense conflict. The hero stands with his sword drawn, while his antagonist stands facing him with arms crossed. They stay that way for eternity (or until you decide to load the game again).
And on that note...what about deleting or losing saved games? Surely the characters in that game don't feel too good about that. Deleting a saved game is equivalent to destroying the world and then creating it again right afterwards. The characters would go through deja vu, and everybody else would be none the wiser. Nobody really knows that the world was destroyed and reconstructed.
It's especially guilt-inducing if you do it on a game like The Sims, Nintendogs, or Animal Crossing. To think, all your nice people just suddenly disappear - or if they haven't disappeared, then they have lost all memory that you ever existed. They speak to you as if you haven't seen them before, yet you know more about them than the average person would upon seeing them for the first time.
This is why it's hard for me to restart a game after losing or deleting a saved game. I know exactly what happens. The shock is gone. Playing to the point where my game was lost becomes less of a joy and more of a chore. I tend to rush through things, and in the case of the Final Fantasy series, I end up getting stuck somewhere without a place to gain experience or heal or buy weapons.
It's not quite so bad in Oblivion, though. (I swear I won't shut up about this.)
And speaking of shutting up...Phoenix Wright, dammit!
Aug 1, 2006
On Scary Games
It has been nearly 14 years since a game has actually, properly scared me.
The incident: my brother and I were shopping for games on a random whim at the Toys R Us (during one of our parents' traditional "crazy" trips - I ought to explain later). During said trip, we decided to pick just one NES game - Shadowgate.
Shadowgate was a game that wasn't immediately enjoyable by a five year old - given the amount of reading and logic required (I took at least a week before I could figure out how to open the first door). I did manage to read the introduction text, though I still puzzled over the meanings of some words.
But on to the game itself - most of the time it was my brother that played while I watched. I didn't really watch it to see what happened. I just liked listening to the music and watching that neat little swishing fade-out effect when he'd go to another room.
Then came the fateful day that my brother happened upon the banshee. That sound sent me running. For days my brother would taunt me by summoning the banshee on purpose, until I eventually decided to exact revenge...on Shadowgate.
Early one morning, before anybody else was up (before I went through my morning ritual of crawling up to Mom's bed and kissing her on the cheek to wake her up), I walked to the NES, pulled out the Shadowgate cartridge, and promptly dropped it into the kitchen trash. Right on top.
Only 10 years later did I admit to it (surprisingly, nobody ever knew where it went).
14 years after the fact...I've obtained two genuinely scary games. Scary, disturbing, massively unsettling.
The first is Prey. Ho-o-oly crap. The E3 movie showed me some pretty spooky stuff (like the rotating rooms, the abduction sequence, and that scene early on where the kid throws the other kid into a big spike). But that's nothing.
Here, we have a game where the levels actually live. You can see much of the architecture pulsating and oozing. You get to see just what these aliens are doing to the people they abduct (and it ain't just probing either, lemme tell ya). And then there's the walls that barf body parts at you. The doors that bear somewhat of a striking resemblance to unmentionable parts of the body. The music.
But you know what's even scarier? The first game that truly made me not want to play it out of fear.
Penumbra.
The best way to truly make your player quiver in fear is to remove all means of self defense. An ordinary guy. He can't wield a handgun, a plasma rifle, or a shotgun. Nor can he pick up and throw crates at things, or even slug it out with the bad things using a lead pipe. This guy is truly defenseless. And that, dear readers, is why I found my heart literally pounding for all it was worth, the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I attempted to find something - anything - that could possibly do damage to those creepy flying things. Even so much as a faulty power line or a fire extinguisher. Anything to keep them at bay, at least, while I rifle through my backpack and try to unlock this door.
Why can't professional developers make games like Penumbra?
The incident: my brother and I were shopping for games on a random whim at the Toys R Us (during one of our parents' traditional "crazy" trips - I ought to explain later). During said trip, we decided to pick just one NES game - Shadowgate.
Shadowgate was a game that wasn't immediately enjoyable by a five year old - given the amount of reading and logic required (I took at least a week before I could figure out how to open the first door). I did manage to read the introduction text, though I still puzzled over the meanings of some words.
But on to the game itself - most of the time it was my brother that played while I watched. I didn't really watch it to see what happened. I just liked listening to the music and watching that neat little swishing fade-out effect when he'd go to another room.
Then came the fateful day that my brother happened upon the banshee. That sound sent me running. For days my brother would taunt me by summoning the banshee on purpose, until I eventually decided to exact revenge...on Shadowgate.
Early one morning, before anybody else was up (before I went through my morning ritual of crawling up to Mom's bed and kissing her on the cheek to wake her up), I walked to the NES, pulled out the Shadowgate cartridge, and promptly dropped it into the kitchen trash. Right on top.
Only 10 years later did I admit to it (surprisingly, nobody ever knew where it went).
14 years after the fact...I've obtained two genuinely scary games. Scary, disturbing, massively unsettling.
The first is Prey. Ho-o-oly crap. The E3 movie showed me some pretty spooky stuff (like the rotating rooms, the abduction sequence, and that scene early on where the kid throws the other kid into a big spike). But that's nothing.
Here, we have a game where the levels actually live. You can see much of the architecture pulsating and oozing. You get to see just what these aliens are doing to the people they abduct (and it ain't just probing either, lemme tell ya). And then there's the walls that barf body parts at you. The doors that bear somewhat of a striking resemblance to unmentionable parts of the body. The music.
But you know what's even scarier? The first game that truly made me not want to play it out of fear.
Penumbra.
The best way to truly make your player quiver in fear is to remove all means of self defense. An ordinary guy. He can't wield a handgun, a plasma rifle, or a shotgun. Nor can he pick up and throw crates at things, or even slug it out with the bad things using a lead pipe. This guy is truly defenseless. And that, dear readers, is why I found my heart literally pounding for all it was worth, the adrenaline pumping through my veins as I attempted to find something - anything - that could possibly do damage to those creepy flying things. Even so much as a faulty power line or a fire extinguisher. Anything to keep them at bay, at least, while I rifle through my backpack and try to unlock this door.
Why can't professional developers make games like Penumbra?
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